Crimes of Fashion

Fashion Crime Friday | Good Shoes Go Bad, and other crimes of fashion

We kick off this week’s Fashion Crime Friday roundup with a pair of shoes we’d literally want to “kick off”. And as soon as possible, too…

Prada multicolour shoes

£922 @ Neiman Marcus

Suspect #1 | Prada asymmetric suede sandals

Remember the infamous Balanciaga ‘Lego’ shoes from a few years ago? We do. They were one of our very first arrests, actually. They’re still in the cells to this day, now we come to think of it: we can’t imagine those things EVER getting out. But we digress. These Prada creations remind us of those shoes, which we reckon is reason enough to arrest them, no questions asked. These shoes don’t actually resemble LEGO, per se, but all of those primary colours, combined with the glued-on “jewels” does rather give the impression of a toy, rather than a shoe. It’s a shame, because there seems to be a decent-enough shoe lurking underneath all of the colurs and embellishment: what happens when good shoes go bad, we guess.

If you absolutely HAD to wear these shoes, though – in some kind of Wear or Die-type scenario, for instance – we think we’d found the perfect item to wear with them, in the (very strange) shape of…

Suspect # 2 | Au Jour Le Jour bell bottom trousers

bellbottom trousers

£317 at Louisa Via Roma

Taking the phrase “bell bottom” a little too literally, these are particularly inexplicable when paired with the dress – and yes, that’s supposed to be a dress, not a top.  The model’s expression says it all, really, doesn’t it? We bet she wishes she was wearing something else: something like a nice, sensible plaid skirt suit, for instance:

Suspect # 3 | Filles a Papa organza shirt and skirt

see-through suit

£230 /£240 at Browns

Unfortunately, though, we couldn’t find a nice, sensible check suit, so this totally see-through one will have to do instead. Look, it’s EDGY, OK? And it actually starts to look quite nice when compared to something like this:

fringe skirt and lace bodysuit

Available at Louisa Via Roma

Suspect # 4 | Fringe skirt and lace bodysuit

These items aren’t from some kind of exotic dance-wear site, although you’d be forgiven for thinking they were. No, they’re designer fashion from Louisa Via Roma. Trust us when we tell you that you REALLY don’t want to see the back view…

Have a great weekend, everyone!

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