It’s Fashion Crime Friday, everyone! Let’s hope you’re all feeling much more cheerful than the woman modelling our first suspect:
Suspect # 1 | Daniele Carlota spandex jumpsuit
She doesn’t look happy. We don’t blame her. After all, she IS wearing a strange halfway-house of an outfit: half jumpsuit, half culottes. It has one shoulder and one leg, and is either the best of both worlds or the very worst of them. We’ll leave that up to you to decide. Meanwhile, we’re moving on to…
Suspect # 2 | Zara dungarees and crop top combo
Although we’d personally hate the dungarees regardless of what they were worn with, this is mostly a matter of bad styling, more than anything else. The shoes we’ve already discussed (And we’d hate THOSE regardless of how they were styled, too…), but the addition of the crop top takes this look to a whole new level. Now, we’re not opposed to crop tops at all, but combining this one with dungarees basically creates a kind of “frame” for the belly. We’re guessing most people don’t really WANT to frame their bellies, but feel free to prove us wrong!
On the subject of denim:
[buy it here]
Suspect # 3 | MKL Collective ‘New West’ dress
This is described as a dress, but it looks to us more like what would happen if you found yourself forced to survive for years on a desert island, with only an old scrap of denim to clothe yourself with. In fact, from the back, it looks a lot like the model is just wearing a towel wrapped around herself, but then, most people would toss a towel this ragged right into the trash, wouldn’t they?
[Buy it here]
Suspect # 4 | Christopher Kane tulle dress
It’s £8,000, which is over $13,000. The real crime here isn’t the fact that it costs more than a small car (although that IS pretty criminal…); it’s the fact that things like this are so commonplace in the world of high fashion that they’ve almost lost their ability to surprise us.
Don’t have nightmares, Fashion Police officers…