Crimes of Fashion, Trousers/Pants

“Tail Trousers” by Doriane Van Overeem: exactly what they sound like

tail trousers

“Tail Trousers” by Doriane Van Overeem, $585

We were going to keep these for our regularly scheduled “Fashion Crime Friday” post, but they’re just so mind-blowingly awesome we thought they deserved a Fashion Police Crime File all to themselves.

These suspects go by the name of “tail pants”. They’re pants with… tails. But you got that, didn’t you? The “tails” in question are simply the legs of the pants themselves, which have been extended far (far, far…) below the ankle, or even the foot, and which continue on, trailing along the floor behind you in what Opening Ceremony describe as a “regal” fashion. Which is certainly ONE way to describe these, we have to give them that.

Our first concern when viewing these was that they were simply extra, extra long pants, which would therefore be impossible to walk in. Upon closer inspection, however, you can see that they do, in fact, have little slits cut in the fabric, through which the foot can protrude, making movement possible, if not exactly easy. We’re going to assume these aren’t really designed for outdoor wear: not only do we shudder to think what kind of state those “tails” would be in after even a short stroll along the average city street, just imagine how many times people would stand on them? That really rules out parties, concerts and any other event at which you could reasonably expect to encounter other people, which leaves us wondering where you’d actually wear these $585 pants? At home? To work? Where?

If you know the answer to these questions, then:

a) Good for you

b) Please share

c) They’re available at Opening Ceremony, where you can take your pick of three different colours: red, pink or floral print.

 Get them here

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