Crimes of Fashion, Shoes

Fashion Crime Friday | Frankenshoe edition

It’s been a while since we delved into the world of Frankenshoes (or “ugly shoes”, as you may know them), so we thought it was high time we sent some officers out to inspect the shoes of the world. The first suspect they came back with was this one:

Stella McCartney shoes

Stella McCartney shoes, £480

Now, these are pretty ugly, and we’re willing to bet they’ll look even worse on a foot (Bigfoot springs to mind. Big, white, chunky foot), but they kind of pale into insignificance next to these:

barbie head shoes

Jeffrey Campbell ‘The Icy Shoes’, $265

It wouldn’t be a Frankenshoe roundup without something from Jeffrey Campbell, would it? This time, the master of Frankesnhoes has excelled himself, beheading a dreamhome full of Barbies and encasing their disembodied heads in glass. Because THAT’S not creepy, is it?

incense burner boots

Yoko Ono Fashion for Men incense burner boots, $750

Yup, that’s an incense burner on the toe of these otherwise unremarkable boots. For… burning incense on the go, we guess. If you’re a big fan of incense, these might be right up your street: walking around with small, spiky objects on your toes could attract the attention of the ACTUAL police, though, especially if there happens to be smoke drifting out of the objects in question. Probably NOT ones to wear to the airport, though.

Casadei fur bootsCasadei fur boots, £455

These are old, but are still available in all sizes. The fact that they didn’t sell out immediately (or even slowly) gives us hope for humanity.

french fries sneakers

French Fries sneakers, $89.95

. Food and feet aren’t two things we like to see combined, but these shoes are, at least, the cheapest of the bunch, and if you’re looking for something to wear with them, the obvious answer would be to go with the “burger and fries” outfit we featured a while back. And to think we only discovered these the day AFTER Halloween!

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