Crimes of Fashion

Fashion Crime Friday |

Eyeball bleach at the ready, Fashion Police officers: it’s time to arrest some crimes of fashion! For instance:

tacky skirt

mesh skirt, $18.95

We’re sure there ARE ways to make this skirt look tackier than it does already (the shoes help in that respect), but if there are, we hope we never have to see them. While we were arresting it, we decided to do a quick sweep of the site we found it on. We found fashion crimes a-plenty, but we think this one was our favourite:

on leg jumpsuit

One-legged jumpsuit, $31.20

And by “favourite”, we obviously mean “least favourite”. The single leg really… adds something, don’t you think? And a skin-tight pleather jumpsuit sounds SO COMFORTABLE, too! We guess the one good thing about it is that it makes our next style suspect seem innocent in comparison:

sheer lace jumpsuit

Sheer lace jumpsuit

Ordinarily we’d be throwing the book at this, but given what’s come before it, we’re now just thinking, “Well, it has two legs and it isn’t pleather: meh.”

Our next suspect, meanwhile, isn’t pleather either, but…

ASOS bodycon dress

ASOS dress, £35

Now, we probably wouldn’t have considered this to be a crime of fashion on its on but given that this model’s skin tone is almost identical to the beige section in the centre, well, at first glance we actually thought she was naked. (And had a body like Barbie.) And if WE thought it, then other people just might think it too, if you’re out and about in this. Then again, they might not: perhaps its just us seeing a naked Barbie doll, where other people simply see a bodycon dress?


Viktor & Rolf top
Viktor & Rolf top,

This wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t £255. No, wait, our mistake: it really WOULD be so bad, wouldn’t it?

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