As another working week draws to a close, we invite you to pour yourself a coffee, grab yourself a donut, and cast a quick eye over the following Style Suspects. These items are all suspected of committing crimes of fashion: but which items are innocent, and which are guilty? Let’s find out…
Suspect #1 : House of Holland Maribou Sweat Skirt, £120
This is one of those occasions when our job as Fashion Police is made even easier by the fact that we can tell the suspect is guilty just by reading the product description. Seriously: maribou sweat skirt? That sounds like a skirt made out of a sweatshirt – maybe with some maribou trim, perhaps! – and yup, that’s exactly what it is. Now, we’re not totally opposed to skirts made out of sweatshirt fabric. Doesn’t sound like the kind of thing we’d LOVE, but we guess in the right hands it could be cute, in a comfy-casual kinda way. This skirt, however, looks like it’s been crafted from an ACTUAL sweatshirt, and therein lies the problem. It also looks like it was once fully maribou-d up, but then someone came along and plucked it. That’s another problem right there.
(We’d also be interested to hear your thoughts on the ankle socks/stiletto combination.)
Suspect # 2: Topshop cat face leggings, £28
There’s just no way to avoid being dubbed a “crazy cat lady” in these, is there? And, you know, we love cats as much as the next person, but there’s something about these that’s just plain creepy. We think it’s the eyes on the thighs. Eyes and thighs just don’t mix, do they?
Suspect #3: Junya Wantanabe patchwork jeans, £525
Things We Learned from Fashion: never throw out your old jeans. Just slap on some patches, and sell them for £500: sorted!
Suspect # 4: This entire outfit
It’s like Cruella de Vil meets the Dress Like a Toddler trend. That can’t be good. Can it?
So! The evidence is now before you, ladies and gentlemen of the Fashion Police jury: now it’s up to you decide which of these items – if any – are guilty of committing crimes of fashion. Over to you!