Well, Fashion Crime Fighters, it’s almost the weekend*, but before you scoot off to enjoy it, let’s end the week with a quick clean-up of the Fashion Police Jail, shall we? Take a quick look at these recent arrests, and let us know whether we should keep them under lock and key, or set them free, absolved of all guilt:
1. The Rabbit Shoes
Rabbit fur shoes, $650
Oh dear. Quite apart from the fact that animals died to create these shoes (Which some would argue is a crime in itself), we can’t help but think we’d feel like we were putting our feet INSIDE the rabbit if we tried to wear these: we’re not sure if it’s the almost blood-red colour that’s doing it, but there’s just something vaguely gruesome about them somehow. Oh, and they also lool like stiletto slippers. So there’s that.
2. The shredded chap jeans
Shredded chap jeans, $525
It would be bad enough if this was a pair of ripped tights/leggings being worn under denim cut-offs, by a 13-year-old girl going through a rebellious phase. But nope: the shorts are ATTACHED to the leggings, making this a Stuck Together Clothes Crime, if ever we saw one. And they’re $525, which makes them completely freaking ridiculous, seriously: trust us, there are cheaper ways to look like you just pulled your pants out of a dumpster. One way, for example, is to just pull your pants out of a dumpster. Congratulations! You just saved yourself $525!
3. The Mesh Pencil Skirt
Mesh pencil skirt, $145
The Opening Ceremony website describes this skirt as “Nonchalant but never sloppy… perfect for days without plans.” Now, we don’t know about you, but where we come from, walking around in a see-through slip would be seen as pretty darn sloppy, to be honest. They got one thing right, though: this IS perfect for days without plans. Like, days when you don’t plan on leaving the house, for instance. Please don’t leave the house without your clothes, folks: you’ll thank us for this advice later, we promise you.
Aaaand that concludes our roundup for this week, so now it’s over to you: are these crimes of fashion, or do you want us to set them free, so you can buy and wear them?