Crimes of Fashion

Modelling is Hard at Tom Van Der Borght

It’s been a while since our last edition of Modelling is Hard, but lest we forget that models work hard for a living, and sometimes have to endure the kind of indignities no one should ever have  to suffer, here’s this from Tom Van Der Borght:

male model in strange outfit

[Buy it here.]

The model’s doing his best, poor guy, but when the styling is so distracting it totally overshadows the clothes you’re supposed to be selling, we’re pretty sure that’s not a good sign. Or acually, in this case, maybe it IS a good thing: the while “cowardly lion” look going on around his head ALMOST managed to distract us from the strange shoes, the fuzzy pink shocks (Worn with thong sandals, no less…), the puzzling “skirt short”, as this is apparently called. There isn’t a single item here that wouldn’t get this guy arrested, if his model status didn’t grant him automatic immunity from Fashion Police arrest. We said the styling ALMOST distracted us: we’re a highly-trained style-crime fighting force, so at this point nothing really scares us.

male model in facepaint

[Buy here]

Well, other than that, obviously. That’s pretty scary. We’ll be sleeping with the lights on tonight, that’s for sure. We actually have no idea what they’re selling here (the sweatshirt? The pants? The … is that a necklace around his neck, or is someone, somewhere, missing a braid right now?), but we bet our male model here was glad they painted his face red: at least that way we can’t see him blush. We can sense it, though.

At least it can’t get any worse, though, right?

modelling is hard

[Buy here]

Whoops. Spoke too soon. Although, actually, we kind of like the print on this coat. Not so much the pink socks, the “I’ve strapped blocks of concrete to my feet” footwear, or the $1,300 price tag, mind you. We like horses, though, and we THINK we can see horses here, but again, we keep getting distracted by the rest of the look, so it’s hard to tell.

By the way: if you’re a female reader and you’re starting to wonder why the guys are getting all the good stuff with this collection, worry not, because:

a) It’s unisex


b) Witness:

scary model

strangely-dressed model[Buy here.]

That’s Halloween sorted for this year, then.

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