Crimes of Fashion

Dungaree Disasters: a roundup

Late last week, an anonymous tip-off led us to the discovery that one of our favourite websites, Yoox.com, has an entire section dedicated to dungarees.

Now, as you know, dungarees are a HOT TREND for this season, and because The Fashion Police care deeply about being seen to be ON TREND, we figured we should go and take a look at the wonders this section must hold.

OK, we’re kidding: we just thought it would be funny to see some of the dungaree disasters out there. And we were right, although, in presenting this roundup, we have to stress that Yoox.com uses a fairly loose definition of the word “dungarees”. We’d describe most of these as “jumpsuits”, or simply as “hideous”, but we’re using their definition here, purely because “Dungaree Disasters” was a catchier title than “things that Yoox.com calls ‘dungarees’, but which aren’t really”.  Behold!

pink floral jumpsuit

Marni, £490

It’s like protective clothing for pensioners, isn’t it? Except, none of the pensioners we know would wear this, even if you paid them. In fact, NO ONE we know would wear this. And yet Marni expect US to pay THEM £490! Bless their hearts.

parachute style dunagrees

Issey Miyake, £510

On the plus side, if you were to fall out of an aircraft while wearing these, you’d probably float gently to land, unharmed.

On the minus side, however, if you were ALREADY on land, you’d look like you were wearing a parachute. In your pants.

orange jumpsuit

Michael Kors, £560

OK, this one is a straight-up copy of a prison uniform. Wear this in public, and there’s absolutely no way someone won’t think you’re an escaped convict, and try to have you sent right back to jail. Mind you, if you paid £560 for a prison jumpsuit, there’s a good chance we’d be coming after you to send you to Fashion Police jail anyway, so at least you’ll already be dressed for it when we arrive…

animal print jumpsuit

Joseph, £284

This one, meanwhile, is basically a designer onesie. It had to happen, didn’t it?

Finally, did you know the Boy Scouts have a new uniform?

dungarees

Escada, £180

Scout camp will be WAY stylish this season, seriously.

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