Can't be bothered trawling through all of those runway photos on Style.com, just to try to figure out what the Spring 2013 Fashion Trends are? Want to sound like you know what you're talking about, but not actually interested enough to ACTUALLY know what you're talking about? Worry not: The Fashion Police are here to help. Ignore the runways and find out what's REALLY "in fashion" this season with our Spring 2013 Fashion Cheat Sheet, otherwise known as...
The Lazy Girl's Guide to Spring 2013 Fashion
Spring 2013 fashion: the monochrome trend at Accessorize
We've spoken about this trend so much this year that we actually feel it should be over by now. Actually, though, it's just getting started, so you should expect to be seeing black and white for the next few months at least. The monochrome trend is mostly making itself known in the form of bold, black and white stripes, but of course ANY combination of black and white will work just as well.
The lazy girl's way: Avoid looking like a fashion victim by ignoring the "convict" look and simply add white or cream accessories to a black outfit: easy. Alternatively, the trusty ol' stripe top is an all-time classic.
The Fashion Criminal way: This look, as mentioned above, can all too easily stray into "cartoon convict" territory. If you want to be arrested by us, go right ahead with those head-to-toe stripes...
All items: Net-a-Porter
The 60s are back in a big way. Last year's midi dresses are being replaced by short shift dresses and low-heeled shoes. Graphic prints and - of course - monochrome add a 60s influence to just about anything.
The lazy girl's way: Choose your era. While current trends are very much channelling the mod style of the mid-to-late sixties, which can be harder to pull off, you can always claim to be "working" the trend by taking your inspiration from Mad Men season 1-3. (Please don't claim to be "working" the trend, though, or we may have to arrest you for Annoying Use of Fashion Words.) Alternatively, and for extra fashionista points, kill two fashionable birds with one stone by wearing a monochrome shift dress. Look instantly "bang on trend", as if you've just spent hours pouring over vogue. Feel smug, even although you couldn't care less about being "bang on" ANYTHING, and just bought that dress on the basis that the simple shift is NEVER out of fashion...
The Fashion Criminal way: Some trends should be left in the 60s. We're going to suggest that those low-heeled, pointed-toe shoes are one of those things. We'll also suggest that if you look like you're in fancy dress, you're DOING IT WRONG. If you really want to be a fashion criminal from this era, though, we're sure you can track down some truly eyeball-searing psychedelic prints...
Spring 2013 fashion trends: 60s style shift dresses by Florence & Fred
Florals. For Spring.
Look, we KNOW. You can't really call it a "trend" when it's just the same old print, year after year. Nevertheless, that's exactly what the fashion pundits are doing, so don't shoot the messenger when we bring you the news that florals are an OMGHOTTREND for this spring. And every spring ever after, we'll be bound. Just wake us up when they're NOT a springtime trend, OK?
The lazy girl's way: Go to your closet. Pull out that floral dress/skirt/whatever that's probably lurking there. Wear it. Be at the cutting edge of spring 2013 fashion. Actually, this seasons florals trend mainly revolves around things like floral-print pants, jeans and jackets. These can all look good in moderation, and when done right, but if you'd rather take the easy route, you're never going to run out of options, are you?
The Fashion Criminal way: Look, there are florals, and then there are FLORALS. Florals look like the kind of thing you've been wearing for years, without even knowing you were "working" a trend. FLORALS, meanwhile, look like this:
...which, in addition to being a migraine risk, will also be, like SO 2012. Heaven forbid.
All white on the night
Again, white isn't exactly a massive departure for many of us during the warmer months of the year, so we doubt you're scratching your head right now and saying, "What WILL these fashion mavens come up with next?" We'll see more head-to-toe white this summer than usual though, and trust us, it WILL stand out. Mostly because it'll have ketchup or something dribbled down it. Oh no, wait, that's just us, isn't it...
The lazy girl's way: There really ISN'T a lazy way to wear head-to-toe white, unfortunately. It's high-maintenance, unforgiving, and can make you look like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. If you want to give it a go, though, the lazy way is to cheat by adding another colour: think "white pants and top with coloured cardigan", say. You'll still get all the drama and freshness of white, but it'll be a little less "in-your face". If the other colour is similarly pale (Pastels, say, or a pale taupe/beige), it'll go even further towards maintaining that "all white on the night" feel.
The Fashion Criminal way: Dress like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. Done.
All items: Net-a-Porter
This year, shorts are long. Sort of. The Bermuda is back, and is being combined with tailored jackets to create a "short suit". If you don't like Bermudas, don't worry: the short suit can also be worn with a shorter short. Are you confused yet?
The lazy girl's way: The city short is the slimmer, more stylish sister of the Bermuda. Whether you wear them as part of a "suit" or not is totally up to you...
The Fashion Criminal way: The model pictured below looks nervous. She needn't be, though, because technically, it should be hard to mess this one up. This makes us wonder if she's planning to take the "elderly Brits abroad" route and wear them with white socks and Birkenstocks? THAT would certainly be one way to get arrested...
Spring 2013 Fashion: ASOS city shorts