Fashion Police

Fashion Crimes of the Week: ugly fashion at your fingertips

Each Friday, The Fashion Police take a look back at some of the crimes of fashion which were called in during the week just gone. Some of these items you may love, and some you may hate: they all stand accused of being items of ugly fashion – now it’s up to you to cast the final judgement upon them…

ugly fashion from around the internet

Ugly fashion? Or just refreshingly different?

This week kicked off with the launch of the J. W. Anderson for Topshop collection. The clothes themselves didn’t particularly strike as as constituting crimes of fashion, but the styling of the ad campaign (seen above) gave us horrible flashbacks to The Ring -and any other horror movie featuring a creepy little long-haired girl, basically. We haven’t slept since, which has given us plenty of opportunity to uncover other ugly fashion suspects, including…

Suspect # 1: Topshop Boutique velvet organza dress

sheer dress with contrast panels by Topshop Boutique

The J. W. Anderson collection may not have given us much cause for concern, but the Boutique collection was another matter altogether. It contains this fine example of what we think of as a “modesty patch” dress, in that it’s completely sheer, with just a few random patches to protect the wearer’s modesty. Although it creates the impression that the wearer might be totally nude underneath those patches, we’re going to assume most people would wear undies with it. Even so, the loose-fitting nature of this one means anyone standing behind you might just get a bit of an eyeful. Speaking of which:

Suspect # 2: Emilio Cavallini lace bodysuit

sheer lace bodysuit with high heels

Ugly fashion? Or lovely lingerie?

WHERE would you wear this? And don’t say “in the bedroom”, because we’re tired of ugly clothing getting off the hook because of a “tee hee, nudge-nudge, wink-wink, IN THE BEDROOM!” defence. It’s a weak defence at that, because seriously? You want to wear a neon lace jumpsuit in the bedroom? OK, well, even assuming we give this one the benefit of the doubt and assume it’s supposed to be lingerie, and not just ugly clothes, there can be no such defence for our next suspect:

Suspect # 3: Nasty Gal Lux Silk Maxi dress

model in see-through maxi dress and boots

This, officers, is a dress. It says so in the product description. It’s being worn with boots and a shoulder bag, as if the model is off out somewhere for the day. In a see through dress. Which she might as well not have bothered wearing. We will never understand this trend.

Seeing as we seem to have given this roundup an unintentional “see through clothes” theme, how about these to finish on:

Suspect # 4: Andrea Crews t-shirts

black t-shirts with sheer panels


Well, these will come in handy on these days when you want to either go out topless, or show of your bra, huh?

(That was a trick question: all of our officers should know by now that it’s NEVER appropriate to go topless in public, even if the girls ARE covered by a thin layer of polka dot mesh…)

We suspect all of the items above of being ugly fashion. We simply await your verdict, to let us know what to do with them. So tell us:

Are these items guilty of being ugly fashion? Should we lock ’em all up, or are there any you’d like to see freed?

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