As the week draws to a close, it’s time to once again delve into the depths of the Fashion Police jail and take a look at the crimes of fashion it holds. The following is a random assortment of the various items of clothing our officers pulled in for questioning this week, suspecting them to be crimes of fashion. Are they, though? It’s up to you to decide whether to convict or acquit…
Let’s take a look at some potential crimes of fashion…
Suspect # 1: ASOS Maxi Dress with High Low Side
We’re easing you into this week’s roundup gently, with what we believe to be the least offensive of our collection of inmates. When we first arrested this dress, we were irritated by its sideways take on the “mullet dress” (a.k.a the “high-low trend“). Honestly, while we wouldn’t wear them ourselves, we could ALMOST understand the mullet dresses, with their “party in front, business at the back” combination of mini and maxi, but when the maxi section is at the side? It just looks odd. In fact, it looks like a mistake to us: as if someone took a pair of scissors to a perfectly nice dress, and did this to it. Also, when you view the model on the runway, it looks like the “maxi” half of the dress keeps wrapping around her leg, which can’t be comfortable.
All of that said, we’re just not sure it constitutes a crime of fashion, so…
VERDICT: Undecided [Buy it]
Suspect #2: Wanda Nylon ‘Lea’ shorts
We don’t know about you, but anytime we see someone wearing waterproof pants (and they’re not hikers, or fisherman, or taking part in some other activity that might reasonably require waterproofing), we can’t help but wonder WHY such a thing should be necessary. Would madam perhaps be more comfortable in a pair of diaper-friendly harem pants, we wonder? [Buy them]
Suspect # 3: Everything in this photo
Oh no, wait…
Verdict: What do YOU think?
Suspect # 4: River Island mesh insert pencil skirt
Because sometimes you really need the modesty of a below-the-knee pencil skirt, but you still want everyone to be able to see your thighs, don’t you? Oh no, wait: you don’t really, do you? And does anyone else find the sight of the mannequins thighs in the middle photo as creepy/humorous as we do?
If you read our crimes of fashion checklist, you’ll know that any item of clothing with a “window” is automatically arrested, so this is a easy call for us, although you may well agree with River Island that this skirt would allow you to “channel some unconventional chic” and give “a subtle nod to the sports-luxe trend”.
Suspect # 5: Nasty Gal Bad Moon Rising Blouse
This is called the “Bad Moon Rising” blouse. We can only hope that bad moon doesn’t rise much further, or crimes of fashion will be the least of this poor model’s problems…
And now it’s over to you, officers: