Crimes of Fashion: Random Roundup

crimes of fashion

As the week draws to a close, it’s time to once again delve into the depths of the Fashion Police jail and take a look at the crimes of fashion it holds. The following is a random assortment of the various items of clothing our officers pulled in for questioning this week, suspecting them to be crimes of fashion. Are they, though? It’s up to you to decide whether to convict or acquit…

Let’s take a look at some potential crimes of fashion…

crimes of fashion

Suspect # 1: ASOS Maxi Dress with High Low Side

We’re easing you into this week’s roundup gently, with what we believe to be the least offensive of our collection of inmates. When we first arrested this dress, we were irritated by its sideways take on the “mullet dress” (a.k.a the “high-low trend“). Honestly, while we wouldn’t wear them ourselves, we could ALMOST understand the mullet dresses, with their “party in front, business at the back” combination of mini and maxi, but when the maxi section is at the side? It just looks odd. In fact, it looks like a mistake to us: as if someone took a pair of scissors to a perfectly nice dress, and did this to it. Also, when you view the model on the runway, it looks like the “maxi” half of the dress keeps wrapping around her leg, which can’t be comfortable.

All of that said, we’re just not sure it constitutes a crime of fashion, so…

VERDICT: Undecided   [Buy it]

Suspect #2: Wanda Nylon ‘Lea’ shorts

crimes of fashion

We don’t know about you, but anytime we see someone wearing waterproof pants (and they’re not hikers, or fisherman, or taking part in some other activity that might reasonably require waterproofing), we can’t help but wonder WHY such a thing should be necessary. Would madam perhaps be more comfortable in a pair of diaper-friendly harem pants, we wonder?  [Buy them]

VERDICT: Guilty

Suspect # 3: Everything in this photo

crimes of fashion

[Buy it]

GUILTY.

Oh no, wait…

Yup: GUILTY.

Verdict: What do YOU think? 

Suspect # 4: River Island mesh insert pencil skirt

mesh insert pencil skirt

[Buy it]

Because sometimes you really need the modesty of a below-the-knee pencil skirt, but you still want everyone to be able to see your thighs, don’t you? Oh no, wait: you don’t really, do you? And does anyone else find the sight of the mannequins thighs in the middle photo as creepy/humorous as we do?

If you read our crimes of fashion checklist, you’ll know that any item of clothing with a “window” is automatically arrested, so this is a easy call for us, although you may well agree with River Island that this skirt would allow you to “channel some unconventional chic” and give “a subtle nod to the sports-luxe trend”.

VERDICT: Guilty

Suspect # 5: Nasty Gal Bad Moon Rising Blouse

crimes of fashion

[Buy it]

This is called the “Bad Moon Rising” blouse. We can only hope that bad moon doesn’t rise much further, or crimes of fashion will be the least of this poor model’s problems…

And now it’s over to you, officers:

Which of these items are guilty of committing crimes of fashion?

4 Comments

  • Reply February 2, 2013

    lizvocal

    I actually kinda love the Bad Moon shirt. But I have been known to wear clothes just for the shock value. :-)

  • Reply February 4, 2013

    annette tirette

    I love galaxy prints but that shirt is just no… The cut on the ASOS dress looks interesting though, the detail might even be nice if the dress was the same length all over.

  • Reply February 5, 2013

    Rock Hyrax

    I’d let the pencil skirt off with a warning, but only if the mesh is black. (It’s not on the web site any more.)

  • Reply February 7, 2013

    Pink Princess

    Oh my God… Are these for real???

Leave a Reply