[Clothing: Bank Fashion]
We know many of you are confused about fashion. We know because of the many weird and wonderful fashion questions you type into Google which lead you to this site. Don't worry: fashion confuses us sometimes too, but The Fashion Police are here to help, so here are our answers to just a few of the fashion questions you asked this week..
Can I wear a pad to hide my camel toe?
Um, yes, you can. We won't tell if you don't. There are also special products designed to prevent this most heinous of fashion crimes: the Camelflage springs to mind, for instant. How we wish it didn't. What you could ALSO do, though - and this is crazy, but bear with us - is just not wear camel-toe creating clothes in the first place. Buy clothes that fit properly. Don't mistake underwear for outerwear. Always remember that leggings are not pants. It really IS that simple.
How often can I repeat outfits?
Let us guess: you've been reading a lot of fashion blogs lately, huh? Thought so. What fashion bloggers call "outfit repeating", and regard as the kind of naughty fashion sin that they must "confess" in a "tee hee, aren't I kerrrazzy?" tone every now and then, the rest of the world just calls "wearing your clothes more than once". This is not a crime of fashion: we repeat, NOT A CRIME OF FASHION. In fact, it's totally normal and not worth worrying about. In other breaking news: people aren't as interested in your outfits as you think they are. No one's sitting there thinking, "Oh my good lord, that's the second time Alma's worn that dress this month: what is the world coming to?" They're really not, we promise. (And if they are? That's a bit odd, to be completely honest.) In other words, as long as your clothes are clean, in good condition and appropriate to the situation, you can repeat outfits as often as you personally feel comfortable. For some people, that might be once a month; for others, it's a couple of times per week. The important thing to remember is that unless you're wearing something that really stands out, or you know some particularly observant people, you'll probably be the only one who knows what the "acceptable repeat" limit is for you.
Where can I buy see-through jogging pants?
Perhaps a better question here would be: why would you want to? Trust us: no-one wants to see what's under your jogging pants. No, seriously: trust us on this...
How to get a body like Barbie?
OK, this doesn't really fall under the banner of "fashion questions", but sister, you don't want a body like Barbie, seriously. If you had a body like Barbie, you wouldn't be able to stand up and your head would be wider than your waist. Just keep looking like an actual human being and we're sure you'll be fine...
These are all real fashion questions, discovered lurking in our search referrers, along with such other gems as "Why is Adele fat?" and "Why are pale women so ugly," neither of which deserves to be dignified with a response. Tune in soon for some more fashion questions and answers, and if you have a burning style issue of your own, feel free to call The Fashion Police!