Crimes of Fashion: Friday Fashion Flashback

See the crimes of fashion you’d probably rather forget…

Considering the terrible crimes of fashion we’re all forced to witness on a near-daily basis (If you don’t feel you ever witness crimes of fashion, we invite you to take a stroll through your local mall, or any nightclub district on a Friday night…), it’s easy to forget the even more heinous crimes which have already been identified and arrested.

With that in mind, each Friday we’ll be taking you on a journey into the past, and into the bowels of the Fashion Police jail, to re-introduce you to some of the worst crimes of fashion the world has ever known. Can we get a drumroll here, please?

We’ve been fighting crimes of fashion for many years. Let’s take a look back at some of our best arrests…

On this week in 2008…

We’ve actually been fighting crimes of fashion since 2006, but a quick glance back at the archive reveals that those were more innocent times, which were largely free of the horrors we see today: or maybe we were too busy dressing like Sienna Miller or something to notice them. We’re going to fast-forward, then, to 2008, when these Faith boots kicked off a debate about whether beautiful equals “painful” in the shoe world, and why people feel that if they want to be comfortable, they must wear something like these:

Crimes of Fashion: Ugg boots

 

That would be an Ugg boot stuffed inside a shoe. An ugly shoe, at that. We hated them, and felt that if you’re going to wear Ugg boots, well, you may as well just OWN IT, and wear them, rather than finding weird ways to stuff them inside shoes and be all, “Who, me, wearing Ugg boots? No, I’m not wearing Ugg boots ,just these cosy little shoes? *Whistles*”

We arrested them. Our readers, however, mostly pleased for the boots’ innocence, claiming that as long as they’re “comfy”, that’s all that matters. We don’t think we’ll ever understand this idea that the choice is either beautiful-but-painful or comfortable-but-ugly, with absolutely no middle ground (There are, after all, plenty of pretty shoes out there which aren’t painful, and lots of comfortable shoes which aren’t ugly…), but it seems to be a commonly-held belief. This explains why people wear Crocs, obviously.

Four years ago this week…

crime of fashion: sheer skirtTopshop followed Prada’s lead by releasing a completely see-though skirt. No, it wasn’t sold as underwear. People suggested it might look OK… with another skirt layered underneath. Our conclusion? When you have to buy a second skirt to wear under the first one, it’s  a pretty good sign the first skirt is committing crimes of fashion…

Three years ago this week…

crimes of fashionThese existed. Enough said.

Two years ago this week…

crime of fashion: shortsWe arrested these Jeremy Scott shorts. Not before wishing someone would actually wear them to our local gym, though, so we could witness them in action…

One year ago this week…

crimes of fashion
This image
summed up pretty much everything you needed to know about crimes of fashion. Still does.

Check back next week for more archived crimes of fashion!

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