January, 2013

Kelly Brook for New Look

Kelly Brook for New Look bikinis: and a short rant

Kelly Brook for New Look bikini collection We love the Kelly Brook for New Look swimwear collection. Actually, we love MOST of the Kelly Brook for New Look stuff, including the makeup line (which our beauty blog, Hey, Dollface! reviewed a couple of months ago…). Most of our love is reserved from the swimwear, however (and also the lingerie, now we come to think of it. Probably because it’s all pretty similar to the swimwear in terms of shape and general cuteness…), which is cute, fun, and cut in retro-inspired shapes which are that bit easier to wear when you don’t have the confidence for all of those itty-bitty bikinis most other brands like to try to foist on us…


By Ludo earbud neckace: saving the planet, one earbud at a time

By Ludo earbud necklace and earings @ Louisa Via Roma ‘Nothing is created and nothing is destroyed, but everything is transformed,”  is the motto of By Ludo. That’s all well and good, of course, but what we really want to know is why they’re expecting us to pay £184 for a necklace and £119 for a pair of earrings made out of old earbuds, when we could probably string a USB cable and a set of ‘buds around our necks for free? If, of course, we wanted to. One thing’s for sure, though: all those people who love to go around declaring themselves to be “SUCH a geek!” just because they use the same gadgets as everyone else in the…

online shopping review

Online shopping: River Island online shop review

Online shopping can be a daunting prospect for many people. In this series of reviews, The Fashion Police aim to share their experiences of online shopping at various stores, to help you work out where to shop, and where to avoid. We start off with a review of online shopping at River Island…

how to spot a crime of fashion

How to spot a crime of fashion

Last week, in our random roundup, we made reference to consulting the Fashion Crimes Checklist. What we didn’t mention is that this is an ACTUAL checklist, distributed to trainee officers to help them quickly and easily tell the difference between a crime of fashion and a completely innocent item of clothing. It might help you one day, too, so without further ado, allow us to introduce… The Crimes of Fashion Checklist: How to spot a crime of fashion in progress. Spotted a potential fashion infraction? Not sure whether to call The Fashion Police, make a citizen’s arrest, or simply look the other way? Just ask yourself the following questions… 1. Could you wear a diaper under it? Harem pants, and…

GALLERY: Chanel Runway Show Spring 2013

Can you believe it’s Haute Couture Fashion Week, already? We can’t, and we’re actually kinda horrified, because this means that REGULAR Fashion Week/Month isn’t far away, and soon we’ll be faced with so many photos of models strutting down runways it’ll make our heads spin.

floral print dress

Dress of the Day: H&M floral-print dress

H&M floral print dress, £24.99 A floral print dress is so much of a spring fashion cliché that we almost hesitated to show you this one from H&M. Almost. This is pretty, inexpensive, and the kind of thing you can throw on with a pair of sandals and a denim jacket and still look like you made an effort. Oh, and it’s also available in green and brown…

Oscar de la Renta embroidered silk-organza dress

Dress of the Day: Oscar de la Renta embroidered silk-organza dress

  Oscar de la Renta embroidered silk-organza dress, $6,190 This is absolutely beautiful. As much as we love it, though (and we love it a lot), it’s here purely as eye candy, because, seriously, folks: $6,000 for a dress? If anyone needs us, we’ll be lying down in a darkened room with a nice stiff drink on the bedside table… Buy it

ugly swimsuit

Ugly Swimsuits: The Shark Attack Suit

  Ugly swimsuits: Shark Attack! This definitely isn’t the ugliest swimsuit we’ve ever arrested. No, THIS would be the ugliest swimsuit we’ve ever arrested: Or certainly the strangest anyway, given that Victoria’s Secret were selling it as a “bikini”, and yet… it didn’t actually have a top half. Surely a bikini has to have a top, or it simply becomes “knickers”. Or, in this case, HALTER-NECK KNICKERS. Seriously, three years later, and we’re still not over it. Or, for that matter, this one:   She’s all, “Yeah? SO? You wanna make something of it?” We’re far too scared of her to “make something of it” obviously, so we’ll simply point out that the bow is the only thing standing between…

Kate Middleton portrait

Kate Middleton portrait helps sell French Connection tops

  Let’s talk about that Kate Middleton portrait for a second, shall we? Now, we don’t advocate body/face snarking. At all. In fact, we find it totally depressing when we ask the ladies and gentlemen of the Fashion Police Jury what they think of a celebrity outfit, and get a bunch of comments on their face/figure/how old they look, etc, etc. These are things the celebrities (mostly) can’t do much about, you see, and as for the “OMG SHE LOOKS SO OLD!” comments, well, people get old. It happens. It’ll even happen to you one day, if you’re lucky. In this case, though, we feel no compunction about commenting on Kate Middleton’s face because, well, THAT ISN’T KATE MIDDLETON’S FACE,…