1. Under an old sweatshirt at home when you have a flu. A box of tissues and a blanket would go well.

  2. I’d say, to the yearly gala of the incontinence support group, but that is hardly the politically correct thing to say. So I suggest: Under a loose, longer dress and boots, hoping to pass them off as leggings.

  3. I’m going to cheat. Imma cut it at the crotchline to make it a shortish skirt. Then I would wear it with black flip flops and my bikini top. At the beach. Because this cannot be serious.

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