Crimes of Fashion

ASOS Full Skirt with Sequin Knickers commits multiple fashion offences

 ASOS Full Skirt with Sequin Knickers

We were about to call this in as a straightforward case of “Emperor’s New Skirt”… but then we realised the skirt is actually attached to the knickers. The sequin knickers. Which are really the whole point of this outfit, rendering the “skirt” totally redundant: NO, ASOS, adding an invisible skirt over the top of a pair of knickers doesn’t suddenly make it OK to go out in a pair of undies, sequin or otherwise, seriously.

So, what we’re dealing with here is actually multiple misdemeandors:

1. A Stuck-Together-Clothes Crime

2. A bad case of Emperor’s New Clothes

3. An item of clothing which encourages the idea that it’s OK to wear underwear in public. (Because even if you’re OK with sequin knickers, you have to understand that it won’t stop there. No, once we allow the sequin knickers, we’ll find ourselves faced with all kinds of “underwear as outerwear” crimes, and if YOU want to spend your days looking at that, well, you obviously have a stronger stomach than we do.

4. OK, it’s not actually a part of the garment under arrest, but this has been styled with a see-through shirt and visible bra. Really, why bother wearing clothes at all?


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