Crimes of Fashion

Modelling is Hard: Apocalypse Now

At first glance, we thought this was another gig for our old friend, the Bearded Model. Let us just quickly refresh your memory, in case you can’t be bothered clicking on the link there:

Female model with beard

Oh, hai, Bearded Model! We hope that face fur didn’t leave you with a rash!

Closer investigation of the images below, however (and of the Not Just a Label Website) makes us think this is, in fact, a male model – and quite a distinguished looking one, at that – wearing a Lord-of–the-Rings style fake beard:

Bearded model in tragic jumpsuit

It must get quite awkward when his folks ask to see some of his “work”, huh?

This post isn’t really about the beard, though. It’s about the tragic, outfit he’s wearing which we assumed was a harem jumpsuit, but which turns out to be a jacket-and-matching-pants combo. Even MC Hammer wouldn’t “touch this”, would he? And Hammer would touch just about ANYTHING with a dropped crotch and a bad pattern.

The outfit is actually the reason behind the title of this post. It’s not that we think its existence is evidence of the coming¬†Apocalypse, although let’s be honest, it probably IS. No, these pieces are actually called ‘Apocalypse’: the Apocalypse Pants and Apocalypse Jacket, to be precise. They’re well-named, we think. Unlike, say, the “Sexy Boilersuit” we showed you last week…

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