The title says it all… Once again we’re taking a few days off to celebrate the start of the New Year. We’ll be back in 2013, with more fashion failures and successes, but before we go, we want to say a quick thank you to our readers for your continued support: we hope 2012 was a good one for you, and that 2013 will be even better! See you next year! The Fashion Police x
Normally when we set up a Fashion Police Checkpoint, we want to know what you’re wearing right now. Not today, though. Today we want to know what you’re planning to wear tonight, to welcome in 2013. Whether you’re headed out somewhere glamorous, or simply cosying up in front of the TV, we want to know what you’re doing, and what you’ll be wearing while you do it. So: what are you wearing tonight?
Pants. They’re one of the easiest and most comfortable items of clothing to wear, but for reasons which continue to elude us, they’re also one of the easiest items for fashion designers to completely and utterly screw up. From making them completely see-through, to adding crotches which trail along the floor as you walk, the world of ugly pants is a huge and baffling one. Our Ugly Pants file is by far the largest in the Fashion Police HQ, and today we share with you some of the highlowlights of the year just gone. For your viewing displeasure, we’ve included some shorts and jumpsuits in this selection too. You’re welcome! You’ll find the original arrest reports here, should you wish…
We’ve seen many a fashion crime come and go, but we remain convinced that this Rick Owens “camel toe” jumpsuit has to be one of the all-time worst. No wonder the model didn’t want to show her face…
Not exactly the most festive items we could’ve picked to show you today, huh? Way back in January, we brought you news of these feathered skulls, which were selling for over $1,000 each at Louisa Via Roma. Some of you loved them purely as art, and some of you even loved them purely as fashion. Others, like us, merely wondered where on earth you’d ever WEAR them, and who would buy them? Well, we’re still wondering, and today we can tell you that you can STILL buy yourself a feathered skull mask from Louisa Via Roma, although the price has dropped somewhat, and they’ll now set you back a “mere” $781. And yes, we’re every bit as surprised as you…
Greetings, Fashion Police officers! We hope you’re all enjoying a super-stylish holiday season. We’re interrupting the festivities today, however, to continue our look back at the ghosts of fashion crimes past, namely the ugliest shoes of 2012. This year, as we’ve mentioned before, has not been a good one for footwear. The flatforms of 2011 did NOT continue the reign of terror they’d been planning, thankfully, but instead we found ourselves dealing with something even worse: the hoof shoe. Yes, feet like hooves were all the rage this year, and whether you wanted furry fetlocks or just giant, clompy hooves, you wouldn’t have had any difficulty finding them. Here are just a few of the horrors we locked up this…
Friday is by far our favourite day of the week (no surprises there, then…) but this Friday is a particularly good one because it’s the last Friday before Christmas, and therefore our last working day before the holidays. We’ll be taking a few days off to enjoy the holiday, but let us first of all wish all of our readers a very happy Christmas if you celebrate it: we hope you have a wonderful break, and we’ll be back just before New Year to round up some more crimes of fashion! The Fashion Police x
We’ve spent most of this week looking back at some of the biggest fashion crimes of the past year. But it’s Friday, it’s almost Christmas, and we’re feeling generous, so today we thought we’d end the week on a positive note, by showing you some of our favourite dresses of 2012. We’ve done our best to note where each of the dresses in the gallery came from (you can find it by opening the image and reading the text beneath it), but please be aware that this is a retrospective going all the way back to January, so many of these items will no longer be available – they’re simply here to be rewarded for their services to style!
It’s hard to imagine that anything could possibly be worse than the Yoko Ono menswear collection we showed you a few weeks ago, but, well, you might be surprised. The Fashion Police don’t tend to arrest quite as many men’s clothes as we do women’s, but what we lack in quantity, we think we more than make up for with the sheer ugliness of the items under arrest. Here are a few of our (least) favourites from 2012… (You’ll find our original posts on all of these here.)
Can’t decide whether to wear skinny jeans or wide-leg jeans? Well, now you don’t have to! With this cunning combination of skinny and wide, you can have the worst of both worlds: skinny from the front, slouchy from the back! They’re the mullet of the denim world, and they’re just £235 at Yoox.com. We think we’re going to call them “winny jeans”. WIde/skINNY? No? [Buy them]
Well, these will certainly make people look twice, won’t they? Especially if they’re worn with someone with a skin-tone similar to the “insert”. See? Made you look, didn’t they? [Buy them]
So far in our 2012 crime retrospective, we’ve shown you the ugliest dresses and the scariest skirts. The dresses can stand alone, but you’re probably wondering what on earth you’d wear WITH all those ugly skirts, huh? Well, wonder no more: here are some of the ugliest shirts and tops of 2012 (in our opinion at least): you’ll find our original posts about them here.
While skirts aren’t quite as prone to taking a beating from the ol’ ugly stick as their sisters, dresses, are, there are still some designers out there who struggle to make this most simple of items without making it see-through, indecently short, or giving it a drop-crotch. It shouldn’t even be possible to give a skirt a crotch, should it? Trust us, though: it is. In fact, there are all kinds of ways to make a skirt ugly: here are just a few of them… (For the original arrest reports on these items, go here)
Grey wool trousers with a matching, fitted suit jacket sounds like a very office-appropriate kind of outfit, doesn’t it? These pants, though… don’t. In fact, these pants don’t really strike us as appropriate for ANYWHERE, really. On the plus side, at least you can leave the handbag at home and carry everything you need for the day in the crotch. OK, it’s not much of a “plus side”, to be honest. If you can think of another one, we’d love to hear it: after all, there has to be SOME reason people would pay £353 for these, surely? [Buy them]
As we start to wind-down towards the holiday season, we thought we’d take a look back at some of the best – and worst – of the year just gone. And because we’re The Fashion Police, and we specialise in ugly clothing crimes, we’re mostly going to be focusing on the worst. We;ll, it’s what we do. We’re starting off with a look back at some of the ugliest dresses of 2012. These dresses were all arrested at some point during 2012, and you’ll find our original crime reports here. Which is the ugliest?
An Ugg-style boot, stuffed inside a platform ankle boot. Now we really HAVE seen it all, huh? We’re going to guess the main excuse for these will be “But they’re SO! COSY!” Yeah, yeah. They may well be “cosy”, but we actually think we’d prefer ACTUAL Ugg boots – and that’s saying something. They may ALSO be ugly, but at least they’re not pretending to be anything other than what they are, you know? Still, if you were wondering what a high-heeled Ugg would look like, at least you now have your answer. Er, no one was actually wondering about that, were they? [Buy them]
It’s (probably) our last Supect’s Lineup before the holidays, so unless you want to see Fashion Criminals free to roam the streets over the next couple of weeks, we’re going to need to step up, examine the evidence, and tell us which of these celebrities are guilty, and which are innocent of all charges. Ready? Go! [Images: PRPhotos.com]
“Skirt-like trousers”, says the product description. “Skants”, says The Fashion Police. Because under the same logic which dictates that a sheer dress is a “shress” and sheer pants are “shants”, it stands to reason that skirt-pants must be “skants”. There’s absolutely nothing else about this garment that stands to reason, unfortunately. Why would you need to look like you were wearing a maxi skirt from the front, but trousers from behind? Why would you pay $777 to do it? We’d love to know… [Buy it]
Well, we didn’t think it was possible, but we have to hand it to Jeffrey Campbell: he’s somehow managed to create a shoe we dislike even more than we disliked the ubiquitous Litas. In fact, speaking of the Litas… these ‘Kick It’ boots are basically what the Litas would look like if they suddenly grew udders, aren’t they? Do those look like udders on the sole to anyone else? They do now, don’t they? [Buy them]
Reiss dress, £200 / Reiss mini tank, £31 / Reiss , £265 / Alexander McQueen peep toe heels / Jil Sander , £1,085 / Blue Nile emerald diamond ring, £10,875 / Emerald diamond earrings, £16 / Hair bow accessory, £1.71 / Bond No. 9 Now, we’re not suggesting you should try to wear all of these items at the same time (Er, we probably would, but that’s just us…) but you should probably get used to seeing this colour, because Panetone (a.k.a. “The Powers That Be”) have declared emerald to be the colour of 2013. They were right about tangerine being the colour of 2012, so you might as well trust them, which means we can expect to see a…