Following on from our post about tights earlier today, if there’s one time we REALLY can’t stand the look of thick black tights, it’s on the red carpet. Or the sidewalk in front of the red carpet, as the case may be.
Opaque tights are not for the red carpet. In fact, they’re not for ANY “glamorous” occasion. Opaque tights are your friends on cold winter days, casual occasions when your hemline’s a little shorter than you’d like it to be, or for those times you just haven’t gotten round to shaving your legs. THEY ARE NOT FOR THE RED CARPET. They are not glamorous, or dressy, or a good way to dress down a sequinned dress, Jessica Alba.
And here’s the thing: there’s no real point in trying to “dress down” a sequinned dress, anyway. A sequinned dress is never going to look casual, no matter how many pairs of tights you wear with it. So own it. Wear that sequinned dress, sister! Throw away the opaque tights and just accept that you’re wearing a sequinned dress on the red carpet because you’re fabulous. Do not apologise for The Shiny. There’s nothing worse than an apologetic dresser, who wants to wear a fabulous dress, but then goes out of her way to avoid looking fabulous in it. Well, OK, there are SOME things that are worse. But not many.
Anyway. We don’t think the Tory Burch dress Jessica Alba wore to the Glamour Women of the Year Awards last night can be saved, even if we wrestled those tights off her and allowed the probably-gorgeous-but-we-can’t-tell-because-of-the-tights shoes to shine. The awkward waistband, frumpy shape and hemline and little-girl white collar just aren’t working here. So we put together a whole new outfit for her, consisting of a similar Tory Burch dress and some simple accessories. Because, let’s face it, you don’t need much when you’re wearing sequins, do you?
Now we invite you to re-dress Jessica Alba too, by creating a Polyvore set and posting the link in our comments. Let’s see who can do better than Jessica’s stylist…