How do we know this? Because at around about this time every year (and sometimes even earlier), all of our favourite fashion bloggers start talking excitedly about coats! and boots! And coloured tights! And long winter evenings spent snuggled up in front of a roaring log fire, roasting chestnuts, singing songs, and generally behaving like the rich people in Charles Dickens novels.
Not us, though.
The Fashion Police hate winter almost as much as we hate harem pants. More, even. And yeah, sure, coats are OK. Some coats are even awesome. No coat is worth shivering for eight months over, though, and as for boots? Well, boots are OK, too - especially these ones – but they’re not nearly as much fun as shoes, so we’d gladly exchange those for a few extra weeks of warm weather, too.
Give us summer any day: or even spring, we’re not that picky. We hate having the cold weather dictate our clothing choices. We hate the fact that most dresses have either short or three-quarter length sleeves, so we put them on in winter and then instantly have to cover them up with a cardigan, just to keep warm. We hate tights. coloured or otherwise – not because we don’t like the look of them, you understand, but because they’re just not comfortable. We hate the sheer fussiness of having to wear multiple layers of clothing, all at the same time, so we don’t freeze. Oh, and we don’t even own a log fire.
OK, that’s more than enough complaining from us. For now, anyway. Tell us, though: is there anyone else out there who ISN’T giddy with excitement at the thought of winter fashion? What’s YOUR favourite fashion season?
Kourtney’s dress is £40, and available here. It’s already sold out in a couple of sizes, though, so if you really want to “rock” the pony print, we also found this alternative from Oasis, which is a different colour and shape, but shares the same kind of print:
So now you have no excuse not to wear ponies this winter. Aren’t you thrilled?
We love it when celebrities wear clothes from the high street: it allows us to pretend they’re just like us, really, even although we know they’re totally not. And it makes it much easier to copy them, if copying celebrity style is your thing. Is it? If so, you may be interested in rushing out and purchasing this ASOS horse-print sweater, as seen on Jayma Mays (Hey, remember when “ASOS” meant “As Seen on Screen”, and all of the clothes were “as seen on” celebrities? This was all fields, then. God, we feel old now. We bet there are people reading this who are so young they don’t even KNOW what “ASOS” stands for, just like there are people who don’t know that “LOL” isn’t actually a word. Or punctuation. We digress, LOL.) this week at the Hollywood premiere of American Horror Story.
Not into horse print? Oh dear. You’re in for a rough few weeks, in that case, because horse print is going to be A THING this season. Trust us on this. Horses are the new Scotty dogs, as far fashion is concerned, so you may want to brace yourself for all of the people-in-ponies you’re about to see. What is it about winter fashion that makes people want to plaster tiny little animals all over their clothes, anyway?
Back to the sweater: it’s $61.11, it’s also available in grey, and you can click here to buy it from ASOS. What do you think of it?
If there’s one thing the fashion community absolutely DETESTS right now, it’s anything deemed to be too “matchy matchy”. Shoes that match your handbag? OMG, how can you go out in public like that? Don’t you know it’s all about COLOUR CLASHING now, you fashion Neanderthal? Belt matches your bag? Why haven’t you just killed yourself already? Because, seriously, if you’re not going to be “edgy” and “unexpected”, like the fashionistas of the world, then there is surely no reason to go on living.
This is why, if we were a regular fashion blog, we would surely think that matching her hair to her boots is the most shocking thing Lady Gaga has ever done.
Forget the “sheer top with no bra” thing: this is “brave”, and therefore totes acceptable. But the MATCHY MATCHY? Seriously, what would they say at Chictopia?
Gwen Stefani celebrated her 42nd birthday earlier this week, and continues to provide all the proof we need that you don’t have to give up all interest in style once you hit 40, like some people seem to believe. Seriously, she looks as good as she ever did, doesn’t she?
Gwen is seen here returning from a book launch in London last night, with some seriously big hair: we almost didn’t recognise her. When it comes to hair, our motto tends to be “the bigger, the better,” so we’re ill-qualified to judge this one. (Also: we love her.) What do YOU think of Gwen’s new ‘do?
Some days you want to wear black jeans, and some days you want to wear blue jeans.
And some days you want to wear black jeans AND blue jeans, and you’re just not willing to choose one over the other.
Those are the days you turn to Cheap Monday, and their jeans which are both black AND blue, like a bruise. Or like the 80s, because that’s not so much “blue” as it is “marble wash”. So, basically, you’ll have one leg in 1987, and the other in 2011. Isn’t that the dream?
If it’s your dream, click here to view them up close. If it’s NOT your dream, just be grateful we got to them before they could cause any damage…
With the creation of these shoes, the lines between “fashion victims” and “clowns” will become even more blurred. Thanks, Jeffrey Campbell.
Actually, for a long time now, we’ve suspected Jeffrey Campbell, enemy of feet, is playing an elaborate joke on the fashion victims of the world. Knowing that they will now apparently buy and wear anything he puts in front of them, declaring it to be “fierce!”, he’s now just seeing how far he can go with footwear that makes people look like clowns, isn’t he? And the scary thing? It’s working. People are gushing over these ‘Sporty’ flatforms over on Solestruck. They’re buying them. They’re presumably wearing them, and walking around like flat-footed giants, on those 4″ stripey platform soles. This makes us fear for the future of stylish humanity. And also for the future of professional clowns, now we come to think of it, because how will they be able to find work when every fashion blogger on the planet looks just like them?
We’re scared. Hold us.
(Want to buy them? Click here to do it, but please take a moment to tell us how you’re planning to wear them first!)
So, “Cheryl Cole wears Victoria Beckham” has to be one of the strangest headlines we’ve ever typed, huh? Imagine if it was literally true, and Chezza was ACTUALLY wearing Vicky B on the red carpet! Now THAT would be a look worth talking about!
Is this one, though? Well, Cheryl isn’t wearing Mrs Beckham herself, but she is wearing a long pink dress from the Victoria Beckham Spring 2011 collection. Fashion People are all excited about this, because Cheryl Cole has a somewhat “hot and cold” relationship with Victoria Beckham and her dresses, and having initially dismissed the designs as “too old”, she’s now been gushing to Grazia about how much she loves them, and how she wants to follow in Victoria’s perfectly-shod footsteps by becoming a fashion designer.
This is, of course, coming hot on the high heels of Cheryl’s shoe collection for Stylist Pick, and is actually a little surprising to us, because as much as we love Cheryl (and we’ll admit to having a bit of a soft spot for her), we’ve never particularly thought fashion was her “thing”, in the way it is Victoria Beckham’s, say. Say what you like about VB (we know you will!), but she has always had a distinctive style, and come across as being fairly fashion-obsessed, which isn’t something we’ve ever really thought about Cheryl.
Should Victoria be worried, do you think? Will we soon all be gushing over the Cheryl Cole Fall 2012 collection?
(Image: Warehouse Autumn/Winter campaign)
