| | Monthly Archives: August 2011Daily Fail: Milla Jovovich “needs to get a tan” says Mail | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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More good news for UK-based fashion fans: hot on the pleather heels of the announcement that Primark is to start selling online, TFP is pleased to hear that American-based J Crew is now offering flat-rate shipping for the not-too-hideously expensive price of £9.95 per order.
International shipping has long been a bug-bear of ours: don’t you just hate it when you find something you love from a brand based in another country, and then discover that shipping to your location is either not available at all, or will cost you almost as much as the order itself? We do, so it’s good to know that another US brand has become a little more accessible to us, although one word of warning: the shipping may only be £9.95, but be aware that you may be charged import duties on international orders! (And you probably will if you have anything like our luck…)
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Way back the mists of time, also known as 2007, The Fashion Police launched a list of five UK-based fashion retailers we’d like to see selling their wares online.
Slowly, but surely, they all succumbed: first came George, then New Look. Last year H&M and Zara followed suit, and then their was only one store standing, the sole survivor of the online revolution. That store was Primark, and we’re happy to announce that soon Primark, too, will fall to the lure of ecommerce: they brand has just started requesting tenders for an agency to create an ecommerce website, which will apparently launch in 2012.
No details yet about how this will work, where it will ship to, or how much of the range will be available. We’re actually a little surprised that Primark are doing this: they’re famous for fast-fashion and super-low prices, so it always seemed unlikely to us that there would be much of a profit margin in online shopping for them, but we guess it’s good news for those of us who either don’t live near a store, or just can’t face the crowds and jumble-sale atmosphere that so often seems to prevail inside.
Does this signal the end of the era in which it was possible to find “must have” Primark dresses selling on eBay at greatly inflated prices? Well, not if Zara’s anything to go by, but we guess we’ll soon find out!
[Source]
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The fact that it’s Rihanna wearing this outfit, and not, say… oh, almost ANYONE else, really… almost made our officers disregard it. You get used to stuff like this with Rihanna after a while, don’t you? It starts to seem normal and we tend to overlook it, purely on the basis of “But it’s RIHANNA!”
That statement sounds dangerously like something a fashion victim would say, though, (See also: “But it’s DESIGNER!” and “She’s X-celebrity: she can wear what she likes!” in our Fashion Victim Drinking Game for reference) so we feel that, whilst it IS, indeed, Rihanna, it’s also important to acknowledge that Rihanna is dressed like one of The Muppets here. In fact, she may actually be wearing one of The Muppets: it’s kind of hard to tell.
(Related: Did you know that we have an entire page of this site dedicated to Muppet Fashion? Yes, that is A Thing now. It’s a growing problem for society, too: innocent muppets are being hunted down and killed for their fur every day now, just so celebrities can wear turquoise fur while launching their new fragrances.)
What do we think of this, jurors? We’ll just say that we love her hair and makeup. We’ll leave the rest to you…
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How can you tell if your long pants are a little TOO long?
Oh, probably when you discover you can actually clean the floors with them, we’d say…
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Well, it’s defininitley cute, we’ll give it that. And probably quite practical, especially taking into consideration the amount of rain we’ve had here at Fashion Police HQ over the last couple of weeks.
Is it £795 / $1315 worth of cute and practical, though?
Oh, hell to the no! Or not for those of us on a police officer’s salary, anyway, because we’re pretty sure that if we give it a few weeks, we’ll be able to pick up something similar at Topshop/H&M/insert other retailer anyway.
What about you, though? Would you pay £1315 for a plastic cape, even if it DOES have the Burberry Prorsum label attached to it?
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We thought shants were over. we thought they’d packed up and taken themselves back to whatever circle of hell they sprung from, and that all the fashionistas would be sticking their noses in the air, swishing their hair and declaring them to be “SO last season!”
We were wrong.
This winter sees the Return of the Shant, (Shants 2: Return of the Shant. Run, don’t walk, from your favourite fashion criminal…) as evidenced by these ‘Barbara’ pants by Mike Gonzalez. It’s nice that Mike gave these a name. It’s … weird that he looked at some 70s-print sheer pants and thought, “Barbara! I shall name them Barbara!” They don’t really look like a ‘Barbara’, do they? Barbara sounds like a nice, pleasant, dependable kind of girl. Barabara would teach elementary school and bake pies every weekend, which she’d take round to her neighbours. Barabara wouldn’t dream of going out in public wearing sheer pants, her modesty preserved by only… another layer of sheer pants. One designed to look like shorts. Nope, Barbara would take one look at these pants and Barbara would CALL THE FASHION POLICE. That’s our girl! And that’s what you should do, too, readers. Do not allow shants to creep back into our lives! Remember how bad it got last time? Close your ears to the the siren song of the $225 sheer pants: fight your way back from the world of the fashion victim!
Or, alternatively, click here, buy a pair, say, “What the hell, you only live once, right?” Right?
(P.S. Don’t think we haven’t noticed that these are committing a double crime: that of being Stuck Together Clothes. The Fashion Police see all…)
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This Is Not a Dress
Quick show of hands, jurors:
Shirt or dress, dress or shirt?
As you can see from the caption, we’re going to go with “shirt”. We’re also going to ask the model to put her pants back on now please, before we have to arrest her for being out in public without them. It DOES explain why she’s looking so shifty, though, doesn’t?
What’s your vote?
(This is Mason by Michelle Mason: click here to buy it at Shopbop)
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