One thing we’ve noticed in the years we’ve been policing the world of fashion is that certain style dilemmas tend to come up time and time again, so we thought we’d take a few minutes to re-visit some of our most frequently asked fashion questions…
Wearing black to a wedding is no longer the fashion faux-pas it once was, although if you’re really worried about it, you may want to set your mind at rest by asking the bride (or the maid of honour, or someone else connected to the wedding party) whether they’re likely to be offended by it. Chances are, they’re not going to care what you’re wearing, as long as you look like you’ve made a bit of an effort: and as long as you don’t look like you’re trying to upstage the bride (this is why white, cream and most related colours are out). The key to wearing black to a wedding is to make sure your black outfit has a festive feel rather than a funeral one: try using some whimsical or colourful accessories to keep things light.
Well, you CAN, of course: luckily The Fashion Police aren’t actually real, so no one will come and arrest you for it. Personally, we feel that sheer hose with open sandals isn’t a great look (many of those who commented on this post seemed to agree with that): sandals are designed to be worn with bare feet, and that’s the way we prefer to wear them too, although this issue is a bit of a hot potato, and you’ll find plenty of people who disagree, and feel that stockings and open shoes is perfectly fine.
We actually thought it was a joke when we started getting this question a lot, but it turns out that a lot of people believe that Crocs are organic, and can therefore be boiled and eaten. While we’d rather eat them than wear them, the official line from Crocs is that no, you can’t eat them. Bummer, huh?
And here are a few of the not-so-frequently-asked questions we’ve had, which we thought we’d answer for your anyway. We’re all heart.
First up: we REALLY want to know where this person works. We can’t really imagine many jobs in which Heelys would be appropriate wear: in fact, we can’t really imagine many situations AT ALL where Heelys are appropriate wear for adults, but of course, without knowing what your office dress code is, we can’t really give you a definite answer on that one. Oh, what the hell, we’ll give you one anyway: NO.
Can I wear a playsuit to a wedding?
Why, for the love of Gaga, would you want to wear a playsuit to a wedding? Is it a wedding between toddlers? Are YOU a toddler? Then no, you can’t wear a playsuit to a wedding. Or, OK, you probably can – it really depends on the wedding – but for the most parts, weddings require fairly formal dress, and playsuits don’t really fall into that category, do they? (Are there formal playsuits out there? Interesting.)
Can I wear high heels while working in a hospital?
If you’re working on the reception: probably. Maybe. OK, sure. If you’re a nurse, doctor, or other patient-facing person? No, no, no. Imagine us saying “no” a few more times. Did you get that? NO. No heels in the hospital. Save the sexy nurse costume for your Halloween costume. (And maybe not even then, actually.)
Hold it, Rihanna, you’ve got something tucked into the back of your… whoops, no, our mistake! As you were…
At first glance we thought Rihanna had been the victim of one of those awful “toilet paper tucked in the back of your knickers” moments. Then we thought she had a sweater tied around her waist. Turns out it’s just a Mullet Dress, though, or perhaps a Waist Cape. Are waist capes a thing now? They will be now!
What do you think of Rihanna’s look here? And for that matter, what do you think of the rest of the suspects in our Rogue’s Gallery?
Shoeperwoman spotted this case of Shoe Deja Vu for us: the shoes on the left of the image above are Charlotte Olympia’s ‘Bananas is My Business’ platform pumps, the ones on the right are Jeffrey Campbell’s Fruit Bowl shoes, and while it’s true to say that one is never going to be mistaken for the other, with the JC version looking inferior in every way, it’s also true to say that the fruit placement is so identical (melon on the toe, bananas on the side, strawberries on the heel) as to make simple coincidence seem highly unlikely.
Sweatpants. God knows, they’re not the most stylish items of clothing out there, but if you want to either work out or veg out, they definitely have their place. So we have no problem with sweatpants in general, but we do have two problems with these 3.1 Phillip Lim sweatpants:
1. They’re $475. FOR SWEATPANTS.
2. They’re as ugly as all get out. Seriously, that high waist? It makes the model look deformed, no? And while we respect her valiant attempt to try to minimise the Abnormally Long Abdomen Syndrome these designer sweatpants of hers have created, by use of a sweater and jacket, the fact remains, she’s simply exchanged that particular look for Droopy Drawers Syndrome instead.
And yet people will pay almost $500 to look like this.
Ever wondered what the worst thing you could wear to the office might be? The biggest crime of workwear fashion? The one item of clothing that could instantly lose you both the respect of your colleages, and possibly your job?
Luckily, you don’t need to wonder, for fashion website Stylecompare has commissioned a survey in order to answer these very questions, and the results show that the top ten crimes of office fashion are…
1. Cleavage.
2. Frayed clothing.
3. Ugg boots.
4. Jeans.
5. Piercings.
6. Visible underwear.
7. Fake tan.
8. Stilettos/pointed shoes.
9. Bling jewellery.
10. Wedge heels.
Now, most of these we could all probably have worked out for ourselves, couldn’t we? For instance, most office workers probably don’t need to take a quick poll in order to work out that this:
probably wouldn’t go down well in a professional business setting. (Although, we guess it might depend on the business…)
We’d broadly agree with the majority of these, however, minus a few little quibbles. Jeans, for instance, may not be acceptable in a very conservative office setting, but could be perfectly normal in a more creative type of office: it all depends on the office. And the jeans.
Stilettos/pointy shoes, though? Wedge heels? Since when did all forms of stilettos or wedges become a fashion faux pas in the office? Sure, something like this:
is probably going to be pushing it a little (or a lot), unless you happen to work in fashion, or some other industry in which bold style statements are considered a plus rather than a minus. Many offices will consider sandal-type shoes, which expose the toes or most of the rest of the foot to be against their dress code, too.
There are plenty of pairs of perfectly respectable, stiletto heeled pumps out there, though – even pointed-toe ones – which shouldn’t cause a stir in the office. Take these, for instance:
This particular shoe is by Christian Louboutin, but the black heeled pump has been an office staple for a long time, and we can’t really think of a good reason why these would cause conniptions at work, can you?
As for wedges, meanwhile: well, again, it really depends on the shoe. These, for example, are likely to get the thumbs-down from the boss (unless the boss IS actually Jeffrey Campbell, in which case you can disregard everything we’ve just said. Everything we’ve EVER said, actually.) if you work in a conservative type of office:
These are surely dull enough for almost any office, surely?
So, what do you think, Fashion Police jurors? Are all stilettos and wedges really inappropriate for the office, or does it depend on what kind of stilettos or wedges they are?
Red and pink. It’s one of those colour combinations your granny probably told you was a total fashion “don’t”, but which is now popping up everywhere and being hailed as “edgy” and “modern” and all kinds of other fashion phrases designed to make you feel like unless you’re wearing red and pink, you’re a loser.
Sorry, we got a bit carried away there. Anyway, here’s Emma Stone wearing a red and pink dress to the Friends With Benefits premiere in New York last night. We’re just going to hold our hands up and admit that we find that puffy, overhanging thing a little… odd:
Is it just us? You can tell us in the comments section. Before you do, though, take a look at the gallery for some more celebrity fashion from the past 24 hours, or thereabouts. We’re particularly interested in what you have to say about this outfit of Rihanna’s:
Can you spot the difference between these two dresses?
Other than the fact that one is £69.99, and the other is £150, we mean?
That’s right, there isn’t one.
And we wish we could say this was an isolated incident, but the fact is: it’s not. There are dozens of these dresses on eBay, being bid up to extraordinarily high prices considering the fact that:
a) They’re from Zara
b) YOU CAN STILL BUY SOME OF THEM IN STORE FOR £69.99.
Not all of them, granted. Some of these Zara tulip dresses have, in fact, sold out in the store, such as this floral print number, which is no longer available:
In this case, there is another explanation for the high eBay price of the dress. We call it the “Olivia Palermo effect”:
[Image: PRPhotos.com] Olivia isn’t the only celebrity to show a preference for Zara and its dresses in recent months. Both Kate Middleton and sister Pippa have been spotted in Zara this year, as have a string of other celebs, and this has, if the media is to be believed, sparked a buying frenzy which means that although the dress below, as seen on Pippa Middleton, was last seen on the Zara sale rack, priced at £19.99, certain eBay sellers are offering it for considerably more than that (a little optimistically, it would seem: this dress isn’t quite reaching the giddy heights of the tulip dresses. Sorry, Pippa.).
What is this madness, we want to know? Where does it come from? And don’t get us wrong: we love Zara. We like all of the dresses pictured on this page. But, bearing in mind that the purple dress pictured at the top of the page is still available in all sizes on the Zara website (or was at the time of writing), we just can’t understand why people would pay more than twice the price for it. We realise Zara doesn’t ship to all countries, and that if you don’t have easy access to a store, eBay may be your only option, but even so: we’re perplexed.
Now, we were going to ask why eBay sellers are charging £150 for a dress that is available in-store for £69.00, but the answer to that one is pretty obvious: they’re doing it because they can. Because consumers really are willing to pay that much extra. Which brings us to our next set of questions:
Is the media hype so effective that people will spend almost £100 than the retail price of a garment just because it’s been deemed the next “must have” item? Are we all so desperate to dress like celebrities that we’re willing to buy their clothes at any price? Are these dresses selling for so much A) because certain celebrities have been seen wearing them, B) because the media has hyped the fact that certain celebrities have been seen wearing them, or C) because the people who buy them just really, really like the designs?
Wondering what the celebrities were wearing this weekend? No, we weren’t either, really. Seeing as the photos are right here in front of us, though, it won’t hurt to take a look, will it?
Which are the fashion criminals, and who deserves the Fashion Police gold star? Tell us in the comments!
