We talk a lot on The Fashion Police about crimes of fashion and the people who commit them, but what about the ones who get it right?
We think we need an icon: a guiding light, someone we can look up to and say, “HER: that’s how it’s done.”
The problem with that, however, is that most of the people commonly granted “icon” status by the fashion world are people who make us scratch our heads and say, “HER? Really?”
And of course, everyone has days when they get it right, and days when they get it oh-so-very wrong. We want to find someone who gets it right more often than wrong, though, and who we can look up to as the Fashion Police’s Fashion Icon, so over the next few days we’re going to take a look at some of the women most commonly hailed as “Icons”, and see what you think of their style.
We’re starting off today with Candidate # 1: Alexa Chung
Now, obviously Karl Lagerfeld loves Alexa, but Uncle Karl… let’s just say his opinion can’t always be taken to be gospel on these things.
This photo is actually a pretty good example of Alexa’s style, which has always confused The Fashion Police. She’s a beautiful woman, obviously, but Alexa’s style is very low-key, casual, sometimes even a bit on the dowdy side, if we may be so bold. Alexa will show up on the red carpet in clothes that the rest of us might wear to the supermarket or office: but she’ll still pull it off. She doesn’t appear to own a comb, and she doesn’t really care what anyone thinks – which actually may be a point in her favour here. Is that ladder in her stockings deliberate or accidental? Alexa probably doesn’t care, and everyone else at this show probably considered adding a ladder to their own stockings, such is the power of Alexa.
We want to grab her by the shoulders and tell her to stand up straight here. A couple of days in Fashion Police Boot Camp would soon sort that out, though.
This photo is another good example of Alexa Chung’s signature style. The Breton stripes, the classic trench… the clumpy shoes, and the vaguely uncomfortable suggestion that she possibly forgot to put on pants. We actually love this look on her, and think she’s at her best when she goes causal, but you, of course, may well disagree.
Here are some more photos of Alexa Chung’s style. Tell us: what do you think? Fashion icon or not?
Lace isn’t a fabric you tend to see a lot of in menswear, but of course, there’s absolutely no reason why that should be the case. After all, we women get to wear whatever we like, so why should men be any different?
Our issue here, then, isn’t with the fact that the suit is made from lace. Indeed, we’re sure there are many occasions where a lace suit is just the thing. We just can’t seem to think of any at the moment. (Feel free to suggest some, though.)
No, our main concern here is that we can’t quite work out whether those pants are lined. Sometimes we think they are:
Exhibit A: Lace pants, possibly lined
That looks like a scarp of white lining at the knee, doesn’t it? Can you see it? And if there’s lining at the KNEE, why, then it stands to reason that there must be lining everywhere else. Whew!
Then again, sometimes we think the pants may NOT be lined:
Exhibt B: Butt cheeks, possibly bare
Yeeees. Not looking so certain now, is it? And here’s the thing: even if those pants ARE fully lined, and that bare butt we think we can see is but a figment of our over-active imaginations… Other people will think they see it too, won’t they? People in real life, we mean. And every time you walk into a room wearing your spiffy new lace suit, there will be just one question on everyone’s mind.
And it won’t be, “Hey, is that Rodarte for Opening Ceremony?” either. Well, maybe. We guess it depends where you work.
Want to buy this for either yourself or your guy? Just click here to do it.
We’re going to be generous and assume this dress wasn’t actually designed with prom in mind, and is, in fact, intended for some other kind of evening event, the likes of which we wouldn’t really like to speculate about.
With that said, judging by some of the other dresses in our ugly prom dresses gallery, maybe this IS the kind of thing people are wearing to prom these days.
Palazzo pants: wide legged, loose-fit, soft fabric, crazy patterns… they’re like the pyjamas you can wear in public, aren’t they?
(Wait, what are we saying here? Some of you wear ACTUAL pyjamas in public, don’t you? You can skip this post.)
Of course, not ALL palazzo pants come with prints that scream “summer in Boca”. Some are in plain colours or ditsy florals, and if we wanted to play devil’s advocate (which we don’t, really, but what the hell) we could argue that the loose fit and flowy fabric makes them a good choice for a hot summer, and that, when paired with a floppy hat, they can create a vaguely 70s silhouette which is OMGONTREND.
Or we could just say that, hey, these prints make our eyeballs bleed.
Yoox.com describe this as a “beach dress”, and while we’re not really seeing where the “dress” bit comes in, it is made by a company called VDP Beach, which would seem to support the idea that it is, in fact, beachwear, and not, say, some “sexy” clubwear.
It comes as a two-piece set, so yes, you ARE supposed to wear the legwarmers with the skirt. To the beach. We were going to assume the high wedges were optional, given that they’re not exactly practical for walking in the sand, but then, legwarmers and a mini skirt aren’t exactly practical for the beach either, so stranger things have happened.
Oh, and did we mention the full outfit is £140?
WHY would you want to dress like this to go to the beach, readers?
We don’t know about you, but when we go to the beach we’re there to have fun and relax, maybe take a dip in the sea. We can’t really imagine packing our beach bag and thinking, “OK, have I got everything? Sunscreen? Book? Leg warmers?” Can you? Is this what the cool kids are all wearing to the beach these days? Where ARE these beaches?
This is currently only available in a UK size 6, all the other sizes apparently having sold out. If that’s your size, though, you’re in luck: you can click here to part with your £140.
This dress scares us. Not as much of the idea of people willingly wearing Crocs scares us, obviously, but close.
At first, we didn’t actually realise quite how much the dress was going to scare us. Sure, we were just a little freaked out by the idea of wearing a person on our, er, person. Having a second head just beneath our first head, another set of arms right next to the existing set. Bit trippy, no?
But at that point, we though the arm in the photo – the one touching the oversized lips of the photo – belonged to the model wearing the dress, and that it was emerging from some concealed pocked cunningly designed to look like a sleeve.
Then we realised that there WAS no model wearing the dress.
The dress is empty.
It was just three arms.
And when there IS someone wearing the dress?
Why, then that person appears to have FIVE ARMS, of course:
And now we won’t sleep tonight. Or possibly ever again.
This is £434. Click here to buy it from Far Fetch.
Now, obviously Karl Lagerfeld loves Alexa, but Uncle Karl… let’s just say his opinion can’t always be taken to be gospel on these things.
We want to grab her by the shoulders and tell her to stand up straight here. A couple of days in Fashion Police Boot Camp would soon sort that out, though.
