Luckily for The Fashion Police, not everyone in Cannes chose to go almost naked. All of the celebrities at the Pirates of the Caribbean premiere, for instance, were at least clothed. Were they well clothed, however? Well, that’s what we’re about to decide.
Let’s start with Paz Vega.
Now, Paz is one of our style crushes. She is almost always impeccable, and she is the proud holder of more than one Fashion Police gold star, for that very reason. So when we saw the top half of her outfit, we were really excited:
Now this wouldn’t be to everyone’s taste, obviously, especially given the high neck and long sleeves. But we fully expected to love it: it has a real vintage, 60s feel to it (it’s actually Azzaro 2010), and it makes a nice change from all of the flesh-flashers we tend to see on the red carpet these days.
Then we saw the bottom half:
Oh. It’s a clownsuit jumpsuit. A red carpet clownsuit jumpsut. It’s not even remotely flattering, although we guess the awkward, “about to fall off my shoes” pose doesn’t help.
As for the shoes:
We like them. They didn’t deserve to be paired with this jumpsuit, did they?
But enough about Paz Vega. Here’s Uma Thurman:
We kind of want to iron her. Other than that, we’re underwhelmed.
Thankfully, Penelope Cruz and Johnny Depp managed to rise to the occasion:
At first glance, we loved Penelope’s dress. But… it has a flesh-coloured lining. And figure-skaters have made the flesh-coloured lining their own, really, haven’t they? We don’t know: we might be willing to give her pass for the overall impression, and we really love her hair and makeup:
Beautiful, no?
Finally, here’s Hofit Golan:
Hofit Golan really confuses us. Who is she? We can’t seem to figure that out, and yet she’s everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Is Hofit Golan stalking us? We think so. Google tells us she’s a “socialite”. Huh. Anyway, we like her dress. We don’t know why she’s there, wearing it, but she is looking good, don’t you think?
Uma Thurman’s dress looks like it would feel horrible to touch.
Penelope Cruz’s dress is a bit ridiculous but I still love it. She is stunning.
This Hofit character looks nice but a bit too weddingy.
actually I like Paz jumpsuit,Penelope looks beautiful, uma’s dress is a fail for me, the fabric is weird and the Hofit looks like she’s a bride, i would like the dress in other colours
Hofit looks awesome, whoever she is! Maybe a bit weddingy, but I still think she looks great. And she has a pretty cool name too. I wanna be named Hofit.
For a second, I thought Penelope’s dress was see-through, so I’m kind of relieved that it’s just the lining.
I love the fact that Johnny Depp finally had a haircut and decided to leave the hat at home for once.
Honestly, I think the best dressed here was Johnny Depp.. Then again, I have (and probably always will have) a huge soft spot for him – love his style! Short hair and no hat is a change.. Don’t think I like this more, but then again, he does what he wants… Good for him!
I <3 Johnny Depp in any shape or form; hat or not ;D
I actually quite like Paz jumpsuit too, the close up of her feet sold it for me because of the cute little hook and eye fastenings at her ankle!
Paz`s outfit looks good on the top part, including the ribbon. the bottom part-no way.
You know I think Johnny Depp might be the only guy I’d be willing to go straight for and he’s only a few years younger than my mum XD
I normally adore everything Penelope Cruz does but that dress is awful! It reminds me of an extremely ugly version of Mila Kuniz’s fabulous lavender dress from the Oscars. I have no idea who Hofit Golan is but that dress is amazing! If I marry a very rich man I would consider wearing that dress for our wedding.