Can someone tell us when, exactly, a mess of rope became couture? And worth £142? Because we’re pretty sure we could recreate this look for around a tenner down at the local hardware store… Seriously, this isn’t even silk rope, oh no – it’s 100% viscose!
On a more practical note, we can only imagine the fun to be had trying to untangle ourselves from this following a couple of cocktails. And surely a “stole” of this nature carries an automatically increased risk of strangulation?
Sorry, Margiela, but we’re really not sold on this one.
Maison Martin Margiela 1 stole, £142 from Yoox.com.
Yes, you heard us correctly. These are legwarmer leggings. Leggings with legwarmers knitted into them, if you will (though we rather hope you won’t). We suppose you could wear legwarmer over your leggings if you really must, but do you want them pulled right up to your knees? And won’t you want to take them off once the warmer weather arrives? We are arresting these for obvious reasons, to languish in Fashion Police jail and think about what they have done. (Or rather, what Plush have done in creating them in the first place.)
Look at these people, readers. They’re wearing a ONEPIECE. It’s the hot new trend sweeping the nation. Yes, we checked our calendars too, to make sure it wasn’t April the 1st already…
We don’t normally reproduce press releases here, but we’re going to make an exception for this one. This is what the makers of Onepiece have to say about it (our bold, for emphasis):
: Starting in 2007, three hung-over Norwegians (Thomas Adams, Henrik Nøstrud and Knut Gresvig) had the idea to sew together a hooded sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants [OMGSTUCKTOGETHERCLOTHES! -FP], connecting the two with a giant zipper to create the ORIGINAL OnePiece. An instant success amongst Norwegians, OnePiece was introduced to the British market to a massive, indescribable frenzy [And yet you just described it. Huh. - FP]- London’s Evening Standard broke the story as, “THE Winter Trend Of 2010,” The Guardian devoted a three-page cover feature on it, Sky News made it a rotating weekend feature and it became the most discussed ‘news item’ on The Daily Mail website[This isn't surprising, actually. The Daily Fail readers get excited about anything - FP.]. With various patterns/colors to choose from (including the standard Nordic snowflake-style motif), made of high-quality, fleecy cotton with a zip that starts at the crotch and goes up to the top, OnePiece is rapidly becoming thenew fashion and lifestyle statement. OnePiece is the perfect chill-out, recovery wear for lazy Sundays, it can also be worn outdoors [Only if you want us to arrest you...FP] for a quick shopping trip/running errands, as well as a suitable and comfy in-flight clothing option (airports have never looked so colorful).
This is the shape of the future, readers. People are absolutely hellbent on trying to convince each other that they’re making a “style statement!” by wearing adult onesies in public. The Cult of the Casual has taken over to such an extent that the appearance of a new ADULT ONESIE on the market can spark a “frenzy”. In other news: there is no God.
Oh, and did we mention they’re $200?
Click here for the Onepiece website. It’ll make you feel like this, apparently:
As well as arresting crimes of fashion, we also like to give credit where credit’s due, so with that in mind we figured it was our duty to draw your attention to the fabulous new dress collection by British designer Suzannah.
Now, before you go getting too excited, some of these dresses are “as seen on celebrities”, so they’re not cheap (you could tell by looking at them, couldn’t you): in fact, the prices range from around £350 up (and up, and up…). In a fantasy shopping game, however, we’d definitely take one of each…
It’s not just that they’re fringed pants, and lord knows, The Fashion Police are no friends of fringe. It’s also that the fringes are attached to EYES:
With all the talk of Guantanamo Bay over the last decade it was only a matter of time before the famous orange jumpsuit found its place on the catwalk. Yup, thanks to DSQUARED2 you can now walk down the street looking every bit the escaped prisoner. Although we’re not sure they’d let you pair your jumpsuit with stiletto heels on the inside – you know, for practical reasons, health and safety…
If this look is your bag, you can grab the jumpsuit from Yoox.com.
So you’re languishing on the beach, and a girl walks past in her underwear. Only she’s not in her underwear, she’s wearing a bikini by Norma Kamali that looks like underwear, but isn’t.
We like the overall style of the bikini – the shape is so lovely and retro and we’d wear this as underwear in a flash. Or as swimwear were it a solid fabric. We’re just not sure we can get on board with the lace swimwear.
What do you think of this concept (there’s a one piece costume available too)? Would you wear swimwear that looks like you accidentally wore your lacy undies to the pool? Or do you prefer your swimwear to look more like, well, swimwear?
You can buy the briefs (£95) and top (£200) from Net-a-Porter.
