| | Monthly Archives: February 2011Shoe Porn: KG by Kurt Geiger Eucalyptus platforms | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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The Fashion Police have identified a new enemy. They’re known only as “The Gold People”. Here are some mugshots, to help you identify them …
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Tangerine Twist dress
£55, Boutique
(Click here to buy it)
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Oh dear: looks like the Emperor isn’t wearing any clothes again! Or rather he she is, but given that the black body suit isn’t actually part of the “dress”, we don’t think it counts, making this so-called “dress” one of those completely pointless items that cost £45, and are basically a way to allow to effectively walk around in your underwear. “But I AM wearing a dress!” you can say, all innocence. “And look, it almost comes down to my knees: why, it’s really quite modest!”
Sorry, but we’re not buying it. We know you just spent £45 on an almost-invisible dress, and we will never understand why you did it. If it all makes perfect sense to you, however, you may click here to buy it, Emperor…
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It may look like your little brother’s crappy home-made Halloween costume, but do not be fooled, readers: the item on the left of the image (you know, the one that just burned out your retinas?) is, in fact, a $316 shirt by Maison Martin Margiela.
OK, House of Margiela, YOU WIN. You are too powerful for us. There is no stopping you in your dastardly plot to take over the world with your increasingly bizarre fashion. Instead, we bow down before you. Let us all dress as vegetables from this moment on!*
Click here to buy it. (The shirt, that is, not the lettuce. Although, come to think of it, the lettuce will be cheaper, and will look much the same. Your call.)
(*Note: not really. We’re just messin’ with them…)
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If you like your clothes with holes (well someone must, the stores keep on producing them after all!) then how do you feel about them having chains around the holes? It’s a new twist on the style, but it doesn’t do anything to detract from the fact that your new sweater is full of (quite large in this case) holes, and is not going to keep you very warm. Which is rather the point of wearing a sweater, isn’t it?
If you like this sweatshirt style top, and you don’t mind the draught from the holes (there’s only size S/M left so someone must be buying them), it is now reduced to £20 (from £42) in the Topshop sale.
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Rule 1: It’s perfectly OK to dress like a clown.
Thanks, Sass & Bide! We’ll definitely bear that rule in mind…
[Click here to buy it for £399]
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THE GOOD:
Kate Bosworth
On paper, it wouldn’t work. On Kate Bosworth, it somehow does.
THE BAD
Rachel Bilson
OK, so “bad” is maybe a bit strong, and we get that it’s freezing right now, but this still looks like Lord Vader’s puffa jacket. Which means that Rachel Bilson has gone over to the Dark Side. Another good one lost!
THE JUST PLAIN CONFUSING:
Alexa Chung
She seems like a nice girl, but you’re never going to make us understand why Alexa Chung is the fashion icon she is to so many people. You’re welcome to try, of course, but we very much doubt you’ll succeed…
[Images: PRPhotos.com]
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