| | Yearly Archives: 2010Happy Holidays from The Fashion Police | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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So, erm, yeah. Anyone else seeing a model wrapped in a blanket here? Yes? Us too. But that, my friends, is one very expensive blanket. Can you guess how much Net-A-Porter would like in return for this blanket, er, poncho? Go on, guess.
We bet you didn’t guess £1,895 did you? We told you it was expensive. For that price you only get a 45% wool blend. And no, the rest of it is not cashmere or silk, it’s synthetic.
Got £1900 to spend on a poncho? You can buy this here.
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Last winter, the trend was lots of fur, feathers, and basically anything else that would drive home the point that you were wearing a dead animal on your body.
This year, however, it’s far cooler to look like you’re STILL wearing that animal, but it’s starting to look a little the worse for wear, hence the “plucked bird” effect.
What do you think: cosy and cute, or just… a little bit sad?
(Click here to buy it)
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For some reason that’s never really been clear to us, fashion designers seem to find it harder to make a decent pair of trousers than almost any other item of clothing. This is why we arrest far more pairs of pants than we do skirts, dresses, or anything else you care to name.
It’s also why this gallery is but a small sampling of the many pairs of hideous pants out there in the world: we just didn’t have time for them all. We hope you enjoy it anyway…
(Remember, you can click on the link at the bottom of each image to be taken to the original post, which should contain product details. Bear in mind, though, that these items come from the depths of the Fashion Police jail, so many of them will no longer be available to buy.)
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Apparently, Ugly Betty has dropped the “ugly”. Which, we’re assuming, is how these absolute stunners ended up for sale on the Yoox.com website, cast out of Betty’s wardrobe in a moment of fashion clarity…
But, seriously, who doesn’t love an Argyle/floral/heart-embellished cross-breed pattern on their legs? With such bright base colours to build upon, the variety of costume toppers is unlimited!
Perhaps you could turn these ugly ducklings into swans? If so, you can pick up a pair reduced from £130 to £79 from Yoox.com.
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Oh Topshop. Just when we thought you couldn’t produce anything worse, you go and surpass yourself and come out with this. A sheer skirt stuck to a pair of gold sequin hotpants. Perhaps we should be grateful that you are not encouraging people to wear the hotpants on their own and you are offering them something not quite resembling modesty? Perhaps in this case, the stuck together aspect of the clothing is actually good thing?
Perhaps not.
If you want to buy this, Topshop are asking $110 in the US and £55 in the UK.
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So, this trend for clothes that don’t have even the slightest chance of looking good on anyone except a model, or those who have model-like figures? We’d really like that to stop now. We’re begging you here, designers.
Also, this dress? It’s going to allow you to take VPL to a whole new level, isn’t it? Awesome.
(Click here to buy)
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For those of you who looked at Tsumori Chisato’s fringed jacket and thought. “I’d have that – if only it weren’t $982…”, River Island have the answer. Their brown dreadlock tassel cardigan looks equally as though it has been made out of mop heads – but at £49.99 is a fraction of the price!
Ideal, perhaps, for those who wish to try out the dreadlock look, but without the months of growing their hair but not actually washing or brushing it, this cardigan gives you all the benefits of Rasta chic without the heady scent usually associated with unwashed tresses. Plus, as previously mentioned, in a tight spot you could use your cardi to mop up any emergency spillages!
Get yours from River Island.
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