We have often heard tell of the war zone that is the daily commute. We are well aware of the military precision arriving at the office on time can require. We’ll even confess to having wished, on occasion, for more accessible, less voluminous carrying apparel in which to store the numerous tickets, passes and swipe cards required to get across the city and into our building. Still, we fear Acne might have taken this analogy just a little too far.

Yes, utility chic has been doing the rounds of late, but this dress can hardly be described as “utility”. Let’s look at the name, for example: can you imagine clambering up the alps in this frock? Pencil skirts are constricting enough when maneuvering around desks and cubicles, but rocky outcrops would prove plain perilous! And, ok, your Swiss army knife would be easily accessible (assuming, of course, that a) you can remember which pocket you popped it into and b) you don’t put it in one of the back pockets – seriously, whose arms bend that way?) but what footwear would you pair it with for crossing such unpredictable, probably snow-capped terrain? Would it be possible, particularly if the pockets were “in use” to even sit down in the thing?

Also – and yes, we could have let this one pass, but where would the fun be? – some of those less strategically positioned pockets… well, they could potentially give a whole new meaning to the term “fun bags”, don’t you think?!

All in all, Acne? We’re really not convinced!

Acne Alp Pocket Dress, €550 from my theresa.