Monthly Archives: August 2010


Fashion Trends: the very literal interpretation of the shirtdress

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shirtdresses the shirt dress trend Fashion Trends: the very literal interpretation of the shirtdress

(L-R: Elizabeth and James, LNA, Thakoon, Theory)

These models all look angry. Seriously, look at them: they’re like some pissed-off model gang members, getting ready to challenge us to a fight. What rattled their cage, do you think? Oh yeah: probably whoever it was that ran up to them and stole all their pants. First we had the Foot Snatcher and now there’s a Pant Stealer on the loose. The work of your fashion crime-fighting force is never done, readers.

In this case, however, we can rest easy. Well, sort of. These ladies haven’t, in fact, been robbed of their pants: they’re wearing – sorry, we beg your pardon, “working” – one of this season’s big trends: the shirt dress. Now, as you all know, the term “shirt dress” is generally used to refer to any kind of dress with a collar and a row of buttons down the front. In this case, however, it refers specifically to that breed of dress that looks exactly like a shirt. You know, for that, “Oh, hai, I totally just threw on my boyfriend’s old shirt this morning, because I’m so gorgeous I don’t need to make an effort” kind of look.

What do you think of this look, ladies and gentlemen of the Fashion Police jury? Are you down with the shirtdress, or are you down ON the shirtdress? (If it’s the former, all of the ones pictured above are currently available to buy, and there’s plenty more where those came from. Or you could ACTUALLY just wear your boyfriend’s old shirt, and save yourself some cash, up to you.)

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Down With Airbrushing! Ann Taylor’s incredible shrinking model

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ann taylor photoshop disaster Down With Airbrushing! Ann Taylors incredible shrinking model

We’ve said before that we think Photoshop can be equally, if not more, damaging to women than the use of slimline models (after all, slim people do exist; Photoshopped ones don’t), so props to Jezebel for catching Ann Taylor red-handed in the act of Photoshopping this model almost out of existence.

The image on the left is the thumbnail that was shown on the Ann Taylor website earlier this week. The image on the right, meanwhile, is what you’d have seen if you’d clicked on that thumbnail – watch the already-slim model achieve a shape that probably doesn’t exist in nature before your very eyes, folks!

Ann Taylor have now removed the image from their site, but it still begs the question: why on earth was it there in the first place? Did no one look at this and think it looked just a little bit unnatural? And did the person in charge of Photoshop that day seriously look at the original image and think, “Jeez, this chic looks a bit podgy – better shave some inches off her!” Has the world actually gone mad? (Answer: people are still voluntarily wearing Crocs, so yes, it looks like it probably has.)

Down with airbrushing, we say. We don’t really care whether models are big or small, tall or short, black, white or anything in between: all we ask is that they at least look recognisably human. That shouldn’t be too much to ask, should it?

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Tomas Maier’s shrug with turtleneck: like an expensive tea cosy

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tomas maier shrug with turtleneck Tomas Maiers shrug with turtleneck: like an expensive tea cosy

Tea cosy? Beanie hat with blowhole? Nope, it’s a turtleneck shrug, it’s £585 / $929 at Browns.

Now, we admit we can see the usefulness of such an item, especially if it’s worn under a jacket, in which case it’ll look less like a semi-straight jacket, and more like a practical solution to an exposed neck in winter. Scarves do that too, mind you, and we can pick up a scarf for a whole lot less than £585, so we think we’ll probably be passing on this one, sewn-on sequins or not.

What about you, though? Do you want to add a turtleneck shrug to your winter wardrobe? Do you want to pay almost $1000 for one? If so, go here.

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Tights Are Not Pants: Pamela Mann “ski pants”

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Pamela Mann ski pants Tights Are Not Pants: Pamela Mann ski pantsWe don’t know who Pamela Mann (or Tights Please for that matter) are trying to kid by labelling these as ski pants, but we can clearly see that they are tights.  And if you refer back to the Fashion Police rules, you will recall that leggings are not pants and tights are not leggings.  Meaning that tights cannot possibly be pants.

However, that is not what we are debating here, valid point though it is.  The ‘on trial’ in question is the style of tights which are not quite footless, not quite footed: the ski pant tights that hook neatly under your foot.  What do you think of these readers?  Are they the answer to wearing sandals with tights?  Do they stop your leg looking stumpy as footless tights often can make them look?  Or are they just a crime of fashion that should be banished to our jail as soon as possible?

These tights come in red, blue and black, and are available here for £5.99.

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Silly pants, silly name: Sass & Bide The Hills Are Alive pants

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hills are alive pants1 Silly pants, silly name: Sass & Bide The Hills Are Alive pants

We can only describe these unusual trousers as knickerbockers. The high waist, gathering at the knee, cuffed hems… they’re all a bit silly, to be frank. Besides which, if you were going to make a pair of pants and call them ‘The Hills Are Alive’, wouldn’t you at least make lederhosen??

We have heard that knickerbockers might be making a come back: indeed in certain parts of the world they have been seen peeking shyly from beneath shorter skirts in a way that can’t help but bring to mind Pollyanna. As undergarments they are offensive enough, but as outer garments?

What are Sass & Bide thinking?

And don’t even get us started on the fabric… no really, the only thing we can see going in its favour is the fact that it’s not frilled white cotton…

But maybe, with a neat, plain top and heels, you could make these work. Are you brave enough? If so, please take one piece of advice from us: don’t even try to explain to anyone what they’re called!

Sass & Bide The Hills Are Alive pants, £235 £70.50 from The Outnet.

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Fashion Police at the Teen Choice Awards 2010

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100808A1 MAYS J B GR 01 Fashion Police at the Teen Choice Awards 2010

Jayma Mays

For reasons that managed to be both complicated and boring at the same time, we didn’t manage to get these photos to you yesterday, as planned, but rather than deny you the opportunity to feast your eyes on what the celebrities (or rather, their stylists) put together for the Teen Choice Awards 2010, we’re bringing them to you now, instead.

There are lots of different looks here for you to cast your judgement upon, from the bright yellow body-con dress worn by Jayma Mays, above, to the, er. camouflage mini dress of her Glee cast mate Lea Michele. Whose look was your favourite? Which one was the worst? Tell us in the comments!

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