Crimes of Fashion, Skirts

Skirting the Issue: When Skirts Go Sheer

Comme des Garcons

We were going to use a couple of these skirts as a Wear or Die, but then we thought twice, for surely to Gaga, everyone reading this would choose death over one of these skirts? Surely? Or is that just wishful thinking on our part?

If you wish, then, you can feel free to tell us which of the items on this page you’d wear, assuming that you had to wear one or die. Or you can just sit back, relax, and marvel at the fact that fashion designers actually think we’d be likely to pay hundreds of pounds for petticoats

Comme des Garcons: repeat offence

See, this is a petticoat, isn’t it? HAS to be. No would would wear it as it’s shown on the model, with nothing but a white bodysuit underneath it. And yet, the £195 original price somehow begs to differ on the “petticoat” assessment. WHY?

Angeloz Frentzos

This now: this is MUCH classier. Because flashing ALL of your kickers would just be trashy, you know? Flashing just one half of them, on the other hand? That’s just fine.

(It’s cut on the opposite diagonal at the back, by the way, so you get to feel the breeze on both halves of your nether regions.)

Cunning!

Wait, though! What’s this?

Maria Calderara

Why, it’s an illusion skirt! We can’t believe this is actually catching on! (No, actually we can. Any time we think we can’t believe something is being worn, we remind ourselves of the popularity of Crocs. There’s nowt as strange as folk, is there?)

Comme des Fashion Criminals

Now we know this one isn’t a petticoat, because it has pockets. And we know it has pockets because we can see the insides of them through the sheer fabric of the skirt. Isn’t that… nice?

Jean Paul Gaultier

This one was so bad they couldn’t even find a model willing to wear it. We can’t say we’re surprised: it looks like something the Flintstones might have worn during that one season in the stone age when lace was all the rage. If you kind of half close your eyes, it even looks like those cut-outs are shaped like clubs, and bones and stuff. Clever.

Voyage (to the Fashion Police jail)

There’s so much to say about this one that we don’t even think it needs to BE said. If only it could be un-seen so easily!

And there you have it. Which is the worst? Which is the best? Who knows. What we do know is that each of these offenders was apprehended at Yoox.com, and that there’s plenty more where this little lot came from. If you want to, you can go forth and buy them by clicking here.

Which do you think is the worst, though, the overlord of the sheer skirt movement? If we can get to that one, maybe we can bring the rest down with it…

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