Jessica Simpson makes jeans: will you be trying them?

 Jessica Simpson makes jeans: will you be trying them?

Not content with her shoe line alone, Jessica Simpson will launch her jeanswear line later this year, and provided a “sneak peak” of some of the designs at the New York showroom this week – although it’s actually kind of hard to tell from this “peak” what the finished products will be like, meaning we have to rely on the PR blurb, which tells us the jeans will be “iconic yet fashion forward; always accessible yet timeless.” All bases covered there, then… What do you think, then? Have you had your fill of celebrity “designed” fashion, or will you be racing to try this one out?

 Jessica Simpson makes jeans: will you be trying them?

Skinny jeans meet wide-leg jeans: and you can wear them both at the same time…

two size ugly jeans Skinny jeans meet wide leg jeans: and you can wear them both at the same time...

Within the world of fashion, we hear a lot about issues of weight, whether we’re telling people they’re too fat, or telling them they’re too thin.

What, though, about those poor people who’re both fat AND thin, at the same time? We don’t all have the luxury of legs that are roughly the same size as each other, after all, and people with one leg substantially bigger than the other have to buy clothes too, don’t they? Where do they shop, we wonder?

Wonder no more, readers. They shop here. And they probably buy these exact jeans, because let’s be honest, we can’t really think of anyone else who’d wear them. Can you?

Most likely to be arrested by fashion (or regular) police: Taylor Momsen

FP 5249570 Momsen Taylor CJNY 062210 Most likely to be arrested by fashion (or regular) police: Taylor Momsen

Taylor? Honey? We think you forgot something. Like, say, your pants.

True, Taylor was performing here with her band,  The Pretty Reckless, at the NYLON party at The PUMA Social Club, so this technically counts as stage attire, which we normally give a free pass to, but given that the outfit is pretty much what Taylor wears all the time, we’re not so sure. All we know is that if she were our sixteen-year-old daughter, she’d be grounded.

What do you think?

Heirloom commit double-denim clothes crime: and other crimes, besides!

double denim heirloom dress Heirloom commit double denim clothes crime: and other crimes, besides!

How many crimes of fashion can you spot in this image, readers? Let’s count ‘em together:

1: It’s double-denim. Yeah, we know it’s painfully trendy right now, but we still see a Texas Tuxedo here, and we can’t get on board with it, can you?

2. The “jacket” and “skirt” are stuck together. That’s one count of Stuck-Together-Clothes, right there. Why would you want your jacket to be stuck to your skirt, we ask you?

3. It’s made to look like the jacket has been tucked into the skirt? Who tucks their jacket into their skirt? WHO?

OK, so that’s only three crimes (Unless, of course, you can spot another that we’ve missed?) but somehow the overall impression created by this garment is of many, many more. Oh, and it’s  £440. Shall we add Daylight Robbery to the citation sheet?

Get it here.

Celebrity Spy: Salma Hayek in white dress and red shoes at the premiere of Grown Ups

FP 5257885 Hayek Salma CJNY 062310 Celebrity Spy: Salma Hayek in white dress and red shoes at the premiere of Grown Ups

We would say something about Salma Hayek’s gorgeous white dress and fabulous red shoes (Is that YSL we see there, or are we mistaken?), but… we’re too busy staring at her breasts, sorry.

Oh, come on, you looked at them too, admit it…

Looking amazing, Ms Hayek, if we may say so!

Case Closed: Alexa Chung wears YSL’s slashed bermuda shorts

 Case Closed: Alexa Chung wears YSLs slashed bermuda shorts

Remember those $1,000 YSL Bermuda shorts we cautioned earlier this month? This is the leather version, as worn by Alexa Chung, who has allowed us to answer the question “Who on earth would wear these?” and to close the case on this mystery.

They’re a little less confusing now we see them being worn, but still, rather Alexa’s bank account (Or YSL’s, as the case may be – this was a party to launch the label’s new fragrance, so the shorts may well have been a freebie) than ours, we say.

What do you think of this look?

Dress of the Day: 3.1 Phillip Lim embellished lace-overlay dress

3 Dress of the Day: 3.1 Phillip Lim embellished lace overlay dressLove the details of this embellished lace-overlay dress by 3.1 Phillip Lim, $525. The ladylike silhouette is modernized with cool neckline details – an oxidized silver-tone brass chain layered with a strip of navy rope and a row of glass pearls. The fact that the print is a graphic overlay makes it more special than if it were a simple print.