May, 2010

We’re taking the day off…

Lucky us: we have yet another UK public holiday today, and it’s Memorial Day in the US, so  Fashion Police are planning to take full advantage of the break! This means there’ll be no posts for today, and the fashion criminals of the world can feel free to wear their Crocs, harem pants and anything else they like without fear of arrest. We hope you’re having a wonderful day too, however you’re spending it. If you’re missing us too much, remember to subscribe to our RSS feed so you never miss another post. You can also follow the blog on Twitter, or, if you prefer the personal touch, you can follow our editor on Twitter, too. See you tomorrow!

Fashion Police Checkpoint: What are you wearing right now?

STOP! (Collaborate and listen…) Yes, folks, it’s a Fashion Police Checkpoint, so before you all head off to enjoy the long weekend, we’re going to have to ask you to step to the side and give us a quick inventory of what you’re wearing. It’ll only take a minute, and don’t worry, it’s for sheer nosiness research purposes only, so we won’t judge you! So, tell us: what are you wearing right this very second?

Stuck Together Clothes Crimes: Alexander Wang’s shirt/cardigan hybrid

This isn’t technically a case of “stuck together clothes”: it just looks like it is. We’re not really sure what’s worse, actually: sticking clothes together, or just making it LOOK like you stuck clothes together. In this particular example, we think the latter is true: while some stuck-together-clothes do at least look relatively normal, there’s just something really half-assed about this, isn’t there? It’s like Alexander Wang got started on making a shirt/cardigan hybrid, then thought, “Oh, what the hell, I think I’ll go watch Glee, instead. This’ll do. People buy anything these days.” DOES it “do”, though? Would you buy this item? If you would, the bad news is that it’s sold out at Pixie Market, where it normally…

Daylight Robbery: Henry Holland lace bodysuit

The Fashion Police are starting to think there’s an underground movement determined to reintroduce The Rocky Horror Show stylings to the real world. It may well be hiding behind the 80s revival look, but definitely features that gothic edge that the frills and flounces of the 80s skillfully skirted. This bodysuit could certainly be worn under something frilled and/or flounced to detract from the goth element, but that would really only serve to make you look like an extra from Desperately Seeking Susan at best, Cyndi Lauper’s Girls Just Wanna Have Fun video at worst. And who wants to shell out £35 for that look? The Fashion Police feel that a pair of lace leggings and a lace body suit…

Crime of Fashion: Tall and All Khaki Stretch Tie Dye Tall Jacket

We are not sure what is wrong with the people at Tall and All but they are now on our Most Wanted list for persistent crimes against fashion, many of which involve tie-dye.  This jacket is no exception.  It is listed as ‘stertch tie dye’ on the site but we can only assume they mean stretch.  We were horrified to note that a pair of matching trousers is also available so you could buy those and wear them with the jacket and call it a suit. That was a joke. Please don’t do that, we beg of you. What do you think though?  Is it likely that tie-dye will ever make a comeback, boosting this jacket into the fashion stratosphere…

kylie minogue

Something for the Weekend: Kylie, kryptonite and denim furniture

Dollface learns that the secret of Kylie’s youthful complexion isn’t Botox, but Pond’s Cold Cream. Shoeperwoman comes face to face with some Shoe Kryptonite. Keeping It Realtor is off her (denim) rocker. The Grumpy Old Bloggers are cheering for the bull. And Forever Amber is counting down to her vacation…

Flying the Flag of Fashion Crime: Topshop’s pastel flag skinny jeans

Hey, American readers! Are you feeling patriotic, by any chance? Or maybe you’re just feeling indecisive, or bored with the sheer tedium of wearing jeans in which both legs are approximately the same colour? Either way, we have the perfect solution for you: Topshop’s pastel flag skinny jeans! Yup, with stars to the left of you and stripes to the right, there you’ll be, stuck in the middle of the kind of fashion crime that will have motorists crashing their cars as they strain to get a closer look at what the hell you’re wearing on your legs. As for British readers, who’re perhaps more likely to shop at Topshop, even although it does sell internationally… well, we’ve no idea…

Style on Trial: Balmain camouflage one shoulder dress

Hands up if this picture has sent you reeling back to the late 90s? Yes, The Fashion Police are pretty sure this particular dress was last seen on Sporty Spice circa 1998, with an upper arm cuff and platform boots. So what possessed Balmain to reinvent this look just now? Sure, asymmetric dresses are now an established red carpet staple, but camouflage print? Shiny camouflage print?  And on a mini dress? Really?? We can see nothing right about it! But maybe you can. If so, you can pick this little number up from my theresa for €2.139,00. And wear it out clubbing we guess – we certainly can’t imagine it in any other setting!

Alexa Chung

Fashion Police at the Louis Vuitton Bond Street Maison Launch

The opening of Louis Vuitton’s new Bond Street store this week was a great opportunity for the celebrity guests to sample the wears (and for the brand to get some excellent advertising), with more than a few of those present choosing to show their support by wearing something from the latest collection. Here’s a quick gallery of the guests, who included the likes of Gwyneth Paltrow, Alexa Chung, and the always-present Paloma Faith. Enjoy!

Unravelled: Tim Ryan’s knit dress with ripped front

Oh, no! You pay £445 / $642 for a new dress, and then you go and snag it on something first time you wear it, causing the front to totally unravel, revealing that dingy grey bra you threw on underneath! How embarrassing! Of course, one way to avoid such embarrassment is to buy the dress pre-ripped, like this Tim Ryan knit dress. That way it’s no longer a once-ordinary dress that’s now been totally ruined by your clumsiness, it’s a fashion-forward collector’s item, and everyone will look at you in wonder and call you “edgy”: awesome! What do you think, readers? Are you off to your closets to try and unravel an existing dress right now, or will you just…

Wear or Die: Shressed to Impress

Readers, we’re taking you out for the evening. Fancy party, posh frocks – you know the drill. And don’t worry, it’s all on The Fashion Police – even the clothes, in fact, because here’s the rub: you’re going to have to wear one of these two dresses from our jail. Yes, it’s time for a game of Wear or Die, and that means you either choose one of these to wear or… you die. Simple. (We’d really rather not have to kill you, though, so we’re hoping you’ll play along. Seriously, what’s a bit of VPL amongst friends, anyway?) As for the dresses, Option A is by Shakuhachi, while Option B is Gareth Pugh. Which would you choose, if you…

Shress Alert! ASOS Lace Trimmed Petticoat Maxi Dress

” A perfect number for sophisticated summer events,” says ASOS.com of this sheer maxi dress. Well, only if by “sophisticated summer events” you mean “ones where you’re required to wear two dresses – one long, one short – at the same time.” Or “ones where you expect a heavy rainfall, and want to be able to protect your little black dress from the elements while still showing it off”. Yes, this definitely reminds us of those transparent ponchos you see people wearing in theme parks in the summer, only it comes in the shape of a maxi dress, and won’t actually be of much use in the rain. Still, if you’re feeling particularly indecisive, it could be a good way to…

Cute or Kitsch: Nathan Jenden plastic bow sunglasses

Cute? Kitsch? Kitchly-cute? We think these plastic bow sunglasses by Nathan Jenden fall into all of those categories, and probably more besides: in fact, some of you will undoubtedly find them too sweet to be wholesome. For those of you in the “cute” camp, though, and who don’t mind dropping £160 on a pair of plastic sunnies, these are available at Far Fetch: what do you think of them?

Two Trends Collide: Tulle hem trench coat from Topshop

Ah, the meeting of tulle and trench! Can it ever really work? Can a functional garment be created from the marriage of prom dress and overcoat? Well, Topshop have given it their best shot, creating this tulle hem trench coat, which probably won’t be a whole lot of use in the rain, but will allow you to waft around the streets on your way to work/school feeling a bit like you’re at a cocktail party, albeit one where no one’s bothered to actually remove their outerwear. What do you think of this idea, readers? Does it seem like something you’d wear? If so, it’s £80 at Topshop.

Arrested: Prada plexi and burlap clogs

Watching Prada’s continuing adventures in perpex is like watching a car crash: it’s horrible and nauseating, but somehow you just can’t tear your eyes away… Last time we featured one of this season’s plexi heels, it was the so-called ‘Chandelier’ shoes, which were as ostentatious as, well, a crystal chandelier. With these clogs, however, Prada have gone in the opposite direction altogether, topping a clumsy looking sole with an old piece of burlap sack, and then stretching credibility even further by charging $695 for it. Of course, the fact that the words “plexi”, “burlap” and “clog” are used in the same product description here was always going to be a big clue that these would fall into the Crime of…

Sarah Jessica Parker Sex and the City 2

Fashion Police at the World Premiere of Sex and the City 2

It’s one of the most hotly anticipated movie premieres of the year so far, but we’ve been looking forward to Sex and the City 2, not just to see what happens to our favourite characters, but to find out what the fashion-conscious cast would wear to the premiere. Well, now we have our answers! Sarah Jessica Parker wore Valentino, Kim Cattrall wore Naeem Khan, Cynthia Nixon was in  Carolina Herrera and Kristin Davis wore a bright pink gown by Jean Desses. Who was your favourite? Take a look at our gallery for more images from the premiere!