It’s almost like these boots were TRYING to get themselves arrested, isn’t it?

So far, we’ve got them on two separate counts:

1. Being peep toe boots: and peep-toe THIGH boots at that. (Because when it’s cold enough for thigh boots, it’s still too warm for closed toes, apparently!)

2. Trying to pass themselves off as sandals.

We also considered nailing them on a charge of “trying to create the appearance of strappy sandals worn with tights“, but they plead for leniency on the grounds that “everyone else is doing it, m’lud!” They do have a point there, and we’re not totally against sandals with opaque tights, so we’re leaving that one for now, but we could be persuaded to change our minds if the jury are so minded.

For now, though, we have no hesitation in naming these one of the worst examples of boots-pretending-to-be-shoes we’ve ever had the misfortune to come across. Which is strange, because that particular honour normally falls to someone like Marc Jacobs . This time, however, it was Miss Selfridge who created the monster – they’re selling them here for £70.