Crimes of Fashion, Outerwear

Marni’s balloon style straight jacket coat

“Look! No hands!”

Well, it may be a crime of fashion, but at least it’s totally ‘armless, eh? Geddit? “Armless?” Oh, never mind…

We arrested this Marni jacket yesterday evening, although we must admit, it took the officers in charge quite some time to get the cuffs on it, because:

a) they were laughing so hard


b) it’s got NO ARMS to attach them to

Now that we’ve confiscated it, we’re going to put it to good use in the Fashion Police jail, where it’ll come in handy as a straight jacket. It was actually quite tempting to let this one walk free, though, if only so we could have the chance to see hordes of people all walking around shaped like giant, armless balls. Hee! In the end, though, we thought it was wise to bring it in on safety grounds alone: imagine, if you will, a slippery, icy path, a person walking down it with their arms trapped inside their “balloon” jacket, unable to break their fall… OUCH.

Marni balloon jacket, £370

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