What do you mean “old lace curtain/tablecloth loosely tied a the waist”? That right there is a $913 skirt, we’ll have you know! And who cares if it could only ever really be useful as a beach cover-up, and even then people will wonder why you brought a curtain to the beach, and you’ll be terrified about getting it dirty? It’s DESIGNER, dontchya know?
Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to source some, er, old lace curtains. For completely unrelated reasons.