September, 2009

Style on Trial: Dita Von Teese’s pink ruffled amfAR dress

As regular readers will know, Dita Von Teese is more or less the unofficial Patron Saint of the Fashion Police. This is a women who once wore jeans and sneakers to a Halloween party because it was the most “un-her” outfit she could think of, and who recently said she wouldn’t wear Crocs for $10 million, so you can see why we like her. It came as a shock – and an unpleasant one – then, for us to stumble upon this photo of Dita in a dress we don’t actually love. It’s very pink. It’s very shiny. It almost works, but then… we’re just not sure. We wouldn’t throw Dita in jail without a fair trial, though, so we…

Case Closed: Sophie Monk has a nipple slip in a monokini

All summer we asked the question: who on earth would wear those vaguely pornographic looking monokinis all the stores seem to be flogging right now? Other than Lady Gaga and Paris Hilton, obviously. Well, it took a few months, but at last we have the answer: Sophie Monk would wear them. And yes, her nipple DID pop out of the suit. Gosh, would’ve thought THAT would happen, eh?

Fashion Boobs: How not to wear Foley + Corinna’s see-through chiffon top

Apparently there was no way for Shopbop to illustrate the see-through nature of this Foley + Corinna top, other than making the model wear it with totally bare breasts underneath, and then Photoshopping out her nipples. No bras, no cami tops, no undergarments of any kind that would’ve allowed us to see that the top was sheer without making the poor girl look like a particularly scary Barbie. Because nipples are NOT ACCEPTABLE, but naked Barbie boobs are totally fine, apparently. Modelling: it’s not nearly as glamorous as it looks, you know. (Also: since they’ve yet to invent Photoshop for real life, we’d advise anyone contemplating buying this top NOT to try this look in public. Please.)


Kimberley’s outfit We had a huge response to our What to Wear to a Winter Wedding challenge last week, so the results posts are going to be a little longer than usual! And with that said, let’s get on with the serious business of showing you the outfits: here’s what our readers suggested they’d wear to a winter wedding: anyone planning on getting married this year? Kimberley’s outfit We had a huge response to our What to Wear to a Winter Wedding challenge last week, so the results posts are going to be a little longer than usual! And with that said, let’s get on with the serious business of showing you the outfits: here’s what our readers suggested they’d…

Sock Horror! Black grunge laddered tights from Miss Selfridge

Nope, it’s no good: we’ve tried (not that hard, though, admittedly) but we just can’t get on board with the whole “pre-laddered” tights thing. Especially not when it’s taken to the extent of the pair shown above: they’re £8 from Miss Selfridge, but if you wanted to save money, you could always just find a spool of thread and wrap some of that around your legs instead. Even if we DID like this look, the thought of pale blue flesh, mottled with the cold, peeping through the “threads” would be more than enough to make us want to throw these in jail – probably while saying something like, “Ooh, you’ll catch your death in those, young lady!” What do you…

Daisy Lowe wears leopard print pants to Dolce & Gabbana

There’s always someone, isn’t there? Always someone who takes the runway looks literally and thinks it’s totally fine to walk around in a pair of leopard print ‘Bridget Jones’ knickers. Sigh. This week the person in question is Daisy Lowe, who turned up to the Dolce & Gabbana show at Milan Fashion Week looking like one of those nightmares where you suddenly realise you’re out in public in your underwear, and then the Fashion Police show up, and next thing you know you’re thanking the Lord you wore your fake fur with the big knickers, because it’s pretty cold in them cells…

Save or Splurge: Grey dresses by Victoria Beckham and French Connection

These two dresses aren’t exactly the same, but then, with a £2,000 price difference, you wouldn’t really expect them to be, would you? The dress on the right is by Victoria Beckham, and is currently out of stock at Net-a-Porter, which just goes to show that, yes, there are people in the world who would pay that much for a dress. The dress on the left, meanwhile, isn’t exactly “bargain basement” at £95, but as we said, it does represent a £2,000 saving on the original, so could be a slightly more realistic option for those of you looking to get the same look on a non-Beckham budget. It’s from French Connection. Which would you choose, though, assuming you’d choose…

Celebrity Style on Trial: Radha Mitchell’s one sleeved dress

The one-shouldered dress has become a red carpet staple over the past few years, and the fashion world has embraced the style. What about dresses with just one sleeve, though? Are they just as chic, or do they make you want to take the scissors to them, in a bid to even things up a little? Actress Radha Mitchell wore this one-sleeved Costume National dress to the L.A. premier of “Surrogates”  last week, but what do you think of it? Love, hate or indifference?

Thakoon’s $14,895 dress: worth it?

This dress costs $14,895. Oh, and 92 cents. Don’t forget the 92 cents. Our question: is it worth it, do you think? If you were very rich, would you buy it? An easier question: Thakoon’s $7,218 harem pants. Actually, there’s no question here, we just wanted to show you how much money some people will pay to commit crimes of fashion… If you want to, you can buy both pieces at Colette.

Would you wear… tie-dye jeans?

Neiman Marcus inform us that tie-dyed jeans are “one of the hottest trends in denim” this winter. Now, generally speaking, almost ANY incidence of the phrase “tie dye” sets a special alarm ringing at the Fashion Police HQ, causing us to drop whatever we’re doing and take to the streets to hunt down the culprit, but if Neiman Marcus says this is “hot”, well… We’re actually far from convinced that they’re right on this occasion – in other words, we hate this look – but it’s Friday afternoon and we’re in a forgiving mood, so we’re going to turn this one over to you, our readers. Do you like these tie-dyed jeans? Would you wear them? If you would, you…

Yves Saint Laurent leather “trench coat” suspected of actually being a jumpsuit

“Trench leather jacket” said the product description. “Nothing wrong with that,” we thought (well, slightly awkward grammar aside). “OK, so it’s a bit Last Days of the Gestapo, but if you’re into that kind of thing…” Then we took a closer look, and you know, we think there’s some kind of cover up going on here: this so-called “trench jacket” has legs, you see, and last we checked, jackets didn’t generally have legs. Can you imagine how inconvenient it would be if they did? What would you wear underneath them? How would you get them on over a skirt or dress? No, we suspect this “trench jacket” of being a jumpsuit in disguise – and not a very good disguise…

Style Challenge: What to Wear to a Winter Wedding?

This week’s Style Challenge will call for a little more creativity than usual, as rather than giving you a particular item to style, we’re going to ask you to help us answer one of the questions we get asked most often by our readers: What to wear to a winter wedding? As usual with our Style Challenges, you can use Polyvore to put together your outfits: the only difference is that rather than us telling YOU what to wear, you can tell us, using any items you like. For the purposes of the game, we’ll assume that the wedding you’re attending is a traditional church wedding, being held during the winter. What would you wear? Post your Polyvore links in…

Fashion Fraud Squad: ‘Cosmic’ shoulder dress from Topshop and Ark

Our Fraud Squad is most often called in to deal with cases of high street brands copying designers – sorry, we mean “being inspired” by them – but sometimes it’s more a case of “high street copies inspired by high street”, as you can see above. We showed you Topshop’s ‘Cosmic’ shoulder dress on Kim Kardashian a few weeks ago, and did a double-take when we spotted what we thought was the same dress at Ark Clothing this week. We still can’t really spot the difference between these two, but there is a difference in price, at least: the Topshop dress is £38, while the Ark version is less than half that, at £16.99.

Winter Fashion Wish Lists 2009: What’s on yours?

It’s hard to believe it, but September is already drawing to a close, so we’d imagine most of you (in the Northern Hemisphere at least) are probably starting to dig out your winter fashions, if you haven’t already. What’s on your fashion wish lists for this year, though? At the moment, The Fashion Police are lusting after…

Handbag of the Week: Valentino ‘Kaleido’ gem-embellished tote bag

We’ve made this image a little bigger than usual because this is one bag that you really need to see up close to get the full effect: in fact, we’d recommend a trip to Net-a-Porter to use the zoom facility there, although what we’d really like to do is touch this one and find out what hundreds of little gems feel like when they’re stuck to a bag like this. As for what they look like, well, the evidence is before you. We’ve been seeing gems stuck to shoes for years now, so we guess it’s only fair that handbags should get their turn to be decked out in a similar fashion. This is certainly a dazzling bag to look…

Something for the Weekend:Ruby slippers, skinny models and rat chandeliers

Shoeperwoman finds ruby slippers fit for Dorothy. Dollface finds lipstick that may well be a crime of fashion. Realtor, meanwhile, finds a chandelier that’s a true crime of fashion. (Clue: it has rats hanging from it.) Grumpy Old Bloggers wonder: are skinny models to blame for women’s weight issues? And Forever Amber encounters The Others.

Forever 21 ankle ruffle leggings cankles included

We think leggings have finally come full circle. When they first came back into our lives a few years ago, they were ridiculous, in an “Oh God, not the 80s AGAIN!” kinda way. Then, gradually, they wormed their way into the collective consciousness, and became almost-acceptable, in an “I can’t quite believe I’m going to say this, but they’re actually quite versatile,” kinda way. Now, with the arrival of these ankle ruffle leggings from Forever 21, leggings are, once again, completely and utterly ridiculous. In fact, we can’t even bring ourselves to arrest them because we’re laughing too hard at them. That’s never a good sign. Forever 21 ankle ruffle leggings, $22

Daylight Robbery: Maison Martin Margiela’s furry brooch

We were going to play Guess What It Is with this, but what the hell, we’ll just tell you: it’s a brooch. A furry brooch. A $216 furry brooch. Which, OK, isn’t the most blatant example of Daylight Robbery we’ve ever seen, but the fact that there are people who would walk into a store and think this was worth dropping $200+ on fascinates us. Seriously, shoes or furry brooch, shoes or furry brooch? Anyone going to go for “furry brooch”? Is so, here’s where to get it…