The Wrong Trousers: Armand Basi One Hawaii Beige Harem Trousers

Armand Basi One Hawaii Beig The Wrong Trousers: Armand Basi One Hawaii Beige Harem Trousers

This model currently hates her life. Why? Because she’s tall, slim and gorgeous, but ASOS.com have unaccountably decided to dress her in a pair of pants belonging to a short, fat man.

You’d hate your life too, wouldn’t you?

Handbag of the Week: Alexander McQueen Knuckle Duster Clutch Bag

alexander mcqueen knuckle d Handbag of the Week: Alexander McQueen Knuckle Duster Clutch Bag

We’ve had this bag bookmarked for a while now, trying to decide whether we love it or hate it. One thing we’re definitely sure of is that we wouldn’t pay $1,595 for it, no matter how much we loved it, but that’s a moot point anyway, as it’s currently sold out at Net-a-Porter (although we’re sure you’ll be able to track it down somewhere if you really want one.)

What do you think?

Alexander McQueen Knuckle Duster Clutch Bag, $1,595

Around our blogs this week: cupcake shoes, Baby on Board and crime scenes

iron fist bow shoes Around our blogs this week: cupcake shoes, Baby on Board and crime scenesShoeperwoman finds some scary shoes by Iron Fist.

Dollface wants to know, do you bother shaving your legs in the winter?

Keeping It Realtor finds good karma in a vase.

Grumpy Old Bloggers are bored by Baby On Board signs.

And Forever Amber finds herself in the middle of a crime scene.

Kate Moss for Topshop, Winter 09: what do you think?

kate moss topshop wintr 09 Kate Moss for Topshop, Winter 09: what do you think?

It doesn’t really feel like more than a few weeks since we were showing you the last Kate Moss for Topshop collection, but the latest one is here already, so naturally we’re wondering what you think of it.

This is the Winter 09 collection, and, in keeping with the trends of the coming season, it contains lots of sequins, lots of leather, and a dash of fake fur. We think this is possibly the best collection from Kate (and “helpers”) so far, and we particularly like the leather dress. What about you, though? You can view the full collection at the Topshop website, or take a flick through our gallery, below.

Real Life Fashion Police: Richmond Community Schools introduce super-strict dress code

stripe shirt Real Life Fashion Police: Richmond Community Schools introduce super strict dress codeSo, you’re probably wondering what the deal is with the striped top. Sure, stripes aren’t for everyone, but banning them seems a little extreme, even for The Fashion Police, no?

Well, yeah, it does. It’s not too extreme for the school district in Richmond, Indiana, though, who’ve just introduced a new dress code which bans… well, just about everything really. Under this code, students are only allowed to wear totally plain clothes: no patterns, no logos, no stripes.  And if you think that’s easy, try telling it to the almost 200 kids who’ve been suspended for wearing “inappropriate dress”, which includes clothes that have even the tiniest emblem or pattern on them somewhere. Showing your collarbone will also get you suspended, as will wearing anything too tight – so the Dorothy Perkins top above is a one-way ticket to suspension, apparently. Buh-bye, college dreams!

Teachers and staff aren’t excluded from the new policy either: a member of the canteen staff was fired for wearing jeans, and parents and students have been holding protests outside the school buildings.

Fashion Policing gone mad, we think. Kinda makes you want to dress in stripes, doesn’t it?

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Azumi & David’s “Muff”: for a suitably stylish Starbucks

azumi and david muff Azumi & Davids Muff: for a suitably stylish StarbucksNow that coffee is a fashion accessory (just ask the Olsen twins if you don’t believe us about that), there obviously has to be a way to make SOME people’s coffee more exclusive than others. Well, it just wouldn’t do to have MK & Ashley tottering around clutching the same old cardboard containers as the rest of us, would it?

Luckily, Azumi & David (you may remember them from such items as The Boot Bag Handbag and Stick on Sunglasses. We think they’re awesome.) are ON IT. They’ve developed this “Muff” for your mug, which slides on over the cardboard, and allows you to feel like you’re better than other people. Or just allows you to bring fashion to even the most mundane of objects, if you prefer to view it that way.

The “Mug Muff”, as we like to think of it, costs $57.29 at Colette. What we want to know, though is: how come Louis Vuitton didn’t come up with this first? Or did they?

Five Fashion Phrases We Hate: feel free to add your own

eat a sandwich Five Fashion Phrases We Hate: feel free to add your own

win btn 120x120 Five Fashion Phrases We Hate: feel free to add your own

The fashion world, like any other industry, is full of its own little phrases and buzzwords: in fact, there are so many of them that we had to start developing a glossary.

Of course, some of these terms are great, while others… aren’t. Some even start off sounding great, but gradually become irritating through sheer repetition. Here are five of the phrases that we currently wish we could send to jail*. Feel free to add your own in the comments box!

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Would you wear…Topshop’s ‘Ashish’ animal print wedge ankle boots?

topshop ashish ankle boots Would you wear...Topshops Ashish animal print wedge ankle boots?

As Shoeperwoman readers will already know, it’s all about animal print in the footwear world this season. Topshop clearly realise this, and have gone for a “the more, the merrier!” kind of approach, figuring that if animal print = good, then animal print + massive platform = Even Better.  Oh, and they’ve thrown in a peep toe on a boot, clearly in observance of the 2009 commandment, “Thou Shalt Not Create Boots Without Giving Them a Pointless Peep Toe”.

These sold out almost immediately at Topshop, and are already one of the most talked-about shoes on the internet, for this week at least. Would you wear these shoes? If so, they’re £140 at Topshop (although you may need to visit a store in person to track a pair down as they’re sold out online) and they’re also available in black. Whaddya think?