| | Monthly Archives: June 2009What to Wear With Gladiator Sandals, revisited | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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First came the boots pretending to be shoes. Then the shoes-pretending-to-socks. Then the floodgates opened and The Fashion Police found ourselves dealing with dresses-pretending-to-be-cardigans, jumpsuits-pretending-to-be-tuxedos, and all kinds of other fashion impostors.
Now, however, we have to report that this "trend" has been taken to a whole new level: now even humble household goods are getting in on the act, and trying to pass themselves off as items of clothing. In the case of the napkin above – for yes, this is a "napkin", according to the item description – it hasn't quite managed the full transformation yet, and is left with only one sleeve, poor thing.
Now, we're the Fashion Police, not Keeping It Realtor, so this kind of falls outwith our usual remit: who knows, maybe there's a good reason why you'd need your napkin to have a single shirtsleeve? Maybe you'd just WANT it to have one, so you could be all cool and "quirky" and "edgy". We just don't know.
If you do feel a burning need to have a sleeve on your napkins, though, these are £34.03 from Colette – and don't worry, in the privacy of your own home, the Fashion Police don't really care what you happen to be wearing. Even if it's a napkin with a sleeve.
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This is what you get when you cross a flapper girl with Big Bird. Yes, we know it's white, not yellow, but lookit:
We've put this one up On Trial because going by the first picture alone, we thought it had the potential to be really quite beautiful. But has that potential been realised? Up to you to decide, readers: but if you decide you love it and want it, you can head over to Koh Samui, where it's available for a wallet-busting $1,215.
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Would you pay $135 for tights? ANY tights? That would be a "no" from us: not just because your Fashion Police are sadly accident prone, and therefore guaranteed to ladder them the first time we wore them anyway, but also because we just know that Topshop/American Apparel/Urban Outfitters can probably be relied upon to bring out a much cheaper version, saving us around $130.
These particular tights, however, are from Jean Paul Gaultier's pre-fall collection, and they come with a sheer panel to the front and opaque bands to either side. They look like they'd probably be wonderfully slimming on the leg, but we're still not totally on board with them. If you are, they're also available in black, with a fishnet panel to the front, and you can buy them now from Neiman Marcus. (The dress, by the way, is also JPG, and is $495)
What do you think of them?
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We thought we'd seen it all as far as bandals are concerned, and that nothing now could shock us about the bizarre boot/sandal hybrids.
We were wrong.
Shoeperwoman found these fetching purple bandals at Barefoot Tess, who also carry them in black and brown. And then Shoeperwoman speared them with her stiletto and hurled them into space, which is a relief, because it means we don't have to go to the trouble of actually arresting them.
Don't worry, readers, together we will rid the world of bandals, one pair at a time!
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It's the fourth and final installment of our Style Challenge answers, and it's also the last you'll see of Style Challenge for a couple of weeks, because next week we'll be off on holiday. Worry not, though, Style Challenge will return soon to test you with difficult fashion items: in the meantime, enjoy these suggestions for gladiator-appropriate outfits!
EDIT: I've been ill this week and have been struggling a bit to stay on top of things, so I didn't realise there was another page of entries on this until Diandra complained about it in the comments. Sorry to those whose entries weren't published – my head has been absolutely fried! I'll post the ones I missed next week, promise. ~ Amber
What to Wear With Gladiator Sandals – Part 1
What to Wear With Gladiator Sandals – Part 2
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OK, so it's a nice enough belt. We have no issues with the design. But… that design? We're sure we've seen it somewhere before. Like, lots of times before. In high street chains, designer boutiques… What we're trying to say here is that it's hardly a groundbreakingly original concept, is it? And we're pretty sure the metal parts aren't platinum.
Why, then, does it cost almost $900?
Oh yeah: so that Balmain can commit Daylight Robbery. Unless you can think of another reason?
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When we posted about the UK's Worst Fashion Crimes yesterday, a couple of you said you weren't sure what "shell suits" were – and, of course, you wouldn't as these were mostly a British phenomenon, with the US being mercifully spared the worst of it, as far as we're aware.
The Shell Suit came to fashion prominence in- when else? – the 80s and is so far one of the few trends from that decade that has yet to be revived by over-enthusiastic fashion designers. This is something we're really, really glad about, because as the image above shows, Shell Suits were nylon-coated track pants and zip up tops, usually designed in the most garish colours possible (this one is actually quite tame) – well, it was the 80s, after all.
(Note: the image above is actually fancy dress costume, which tells you all you need to know about shell suits. The suit itself is an accurate representation of what they looked like, though.)
Although technically "leisure wear", shell suits were worn for more or less everything during the 80s, ideally with neon mismatched socks and, if you were female, a pony tail placed right on the very top of your head. Sometimes as ysterday's survey indicated, they were tucked into socks. No matter where you went, you'd see gangs of people walking around in nylon suits: they were like the Crocs of the 80s, and they were almost breathtaking in their ugliest, but, like Crocs, that didn't stop lots of people buying and wearing them.
It's been a long time now since shell suits were a common sight on the streets of Britain, and long may it remain that way. We can only assume thaht their presence in the "Top 10 Fashin Crimes" list is an indication of how deep the scars left by these items still run. Try not to have nightmares, folks…
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