Every time we catch ourselves thinking that the harem pant situation can't get any worse…
… it does.
Harem hell: C.Neeon Tuttifrutti Bird Jumper 
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Monthly Archives: June 2009
Harem hell: C.Neeon Tuttifrutti Bird Jumper
Guest Post – Wear or Die: Alexander McQueen edition
This edition of Wear or Die was written by Ms Jenn of {Bits of Beauty})> Ms Jenn writes…
"Ladies and Gents, welcome to Wear or Die: Alexander McQueen edition. I guess we could also call this one, the Odd Bird edition. Mr McQueen is a well-known genius and darling of the fashion world. We all go raving mad over possibly owning a piece of McQueen fashion royalty. So, how generous and fabulous, that you get to choose one of two runway looks? That's right, you get to wear the entire look, including the shoes.
Isn't that fabulous? Wait, no? You fool, do you think you have a choice?! Oh wait, you have the choice to DIE, which in any case, we might just bury you in the outfit out of spite. So, which one is it going to be? Option A, the freezing cold dove in a straight jacket or Option B, the weird crested rooster from the county fair? (Bonus points for wearing the wax lips)."
Author bio:
Ms. Jenn is the author of {Bits of Beauty} and regular guest fashion blogger for the Little Pink Book.
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The Sack is Back: Coco Ribbon Painted Flower Print Kaftan
ASOS call this a "kaftan", but we beg to differ: that right there is a sack, if ever we saw one, and you all know how we feel about sack dresses. This one is particularly perplexing to us, because as well as being unflattering in shape to all but the heavily pregnant (and even they could probably do better), this particular sack dress is also made of a fabric that looks a lot like it came from either a) a nightdress or b) curtains.
None of which points are in its favour, as far as we're concerned, but if you disagree, it's £375 at ASOS.
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Best of The Fashion Police: The Bulga handbag that made our flesh crawl…
… because it looks like crawling flesh itself. More specifically, it looks like the flabby, saggy flesh of someone's lady-bits. Seriously, does this bag look like a naked, fat person to anyone else, or is it just us?
This was originally sold for $795, but was later greatly reduced in price in the Bergdorf Goodman sale. We wonder why? Don't people WANT to look like they have someone's flaps of flesh hanging from their arm? No?
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Reader Nominated Dress of the Day: Jojo and Malou for ASOS Melting Clock Print dress
This guest post was submitted by Meg of Fashionably Meg, who says:
It was love at first sight when I stumbled upon this Dali-esque Jojo and Malou for ASOS melting clock dress. It's $62.52 at ASOS.com and it would make a great dress for day or night. To mix things up, I've included a few pieces that I think would work well with the dress.
Click here to read Meg's blog.
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Best of the Fashion Police: The famous Argyle Sock boots
While we take a break to recharge our batteries and get ready to go after some new crimes of fashion, we thought we'd show you some of the ones that are already residing in our cells, for the benefit of our newer readers, who may have missed them the first time around.
These Argyle sock boots were one of the very first inmates of the Fashion Police jail, and an early example of the shoes-pretending-to-be-socks phenomenon (a.k.a. 'Impostor Footwear') which we continue to arrest every time we come across a new example of it.
Of course, these boots actually seem pretty tame considering all that's come after them, but we still stand by our original assessment: that if boots absolutely MUST pretend to be socks (and we can see no reason why they should), grandad's golf socks are one of the worst styles of socks to pretend to be…
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Guest Post: Balenciaga’s Sports-Luxe gone bad
This guest post was written by Jenny Hayden, a.k.a. The Style PA. Jenny writes…
"I am a fan of sculptural and architectural influences in fashion, especially when it comes to shoes. Balenciaga though, seem to have taken the trend and thrown it at a pair of trousers, blindly hoping for the best. I don't see £1,025.00 worth of designer clothing, I see a racing driver in a straight jacket. Sport-luxe is a difficult style to master at the best of times, but there is so much going on with this garment, I am struggling to think of anyone, celebrity or otherwise, who could carry them off.
Folds, zips, piping, a criss-cross belt and two shades of grey just confuse the senses and make them impossible to match with other items. Matches Fashion describe them as 'ultra-feminie' but I would have to disagree. So please, someone enlighten me as to how to wear these trousers because, I really am stumped? "
Author Bio:
Jenny is founder and editor of The Style PA, which includes 3 blogs offering hints, tips, tricks and trends for effortless style.
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Case Closed: Rihanna in Christopher Kane’s monkey dress
![Spl107281 002[1] Case Closed: Rihanna in Christopher Kanes monkey dress](http://www.thefashionpolice.net/images/6a00d8341c873353ef011571193486970b.jpg "Spl107281_002[1]")
Who would wear Christopher Kane's monkey dress, we wondered?
Why, Rihanna would, of course! What do you think?
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