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If a sheer dress is a “shress” and sheer pants are “shants“, we can only assume that a sheer jumpsuit must be a “shumpsuit”. And so that’s what we’re going to call this: a shumpsuit.
Luckily for all of us, this shumpsuit isn’t quite as sheer as some of the items The Fashion Police have been forced to arrest since the sheer “trend” kicked off, but wear it on a bright day with nothing underneath, and you can definitely expect some stares, if not a caution from the actual police.
Presumably this shumpsuit isn’t actually supposed to be worn with nothing underneath it, though, in which case, good luck with styling it, and you can pay your £917 to Intermix, who’re selling it. Yes, £917. And worth every single penny, we’re sure…
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So, you know how sometimes you're wearing your leggings as pants (like the cool kids do, you know?) and suddenly you don't know what to do with your hands? "God," you think, "If only I had a handy belt-loop type of arrangement that I could casually loop my thumb through! Maybe in the region of my crotch, say? Yes, that would be ace!"
Thank goodness someone out there was listening to your plea and creating that very thing, eh? Because even although these leggings cost $180, we know you're going to want to rush out and buy them, in which case you'll need to go here.
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A few weeks ago, we might have questioned the usefulness of a bag that can double as a pillow, but having just taken a long-haul flight, and not being great travellers at the best of times, we can actually see where the designers of the Dream Pillow Bag were going with this.
We can't quite understand why the bag/pillow had to have a print featuring scary fruit people, or, indeed, why it had to be $280, but if you can, you can buy it here.
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OK, that’s it: our patience is starting to wear just a little bit thin with the whole “everything must be able to have the word ‘gladiator’ applied to it” thing that’s taken over the fashion world lately.
Normally sports shoes would be outwith The Fashion Police’s jurisdiction, but since we don’t think people will be able to “just do it” in these, we’re going to assume that they’re designed to be fashion items rather than purely practical.
If we were going to wear gladiator sandals, we’d go for “proper” gladiators rather than something that looks like a sport shoe that had an unfortunate run-in with a lawn mower, but if these are right up your street, they’re 80 euros from Colette. They come in white, too – image under the jump.
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So, you know, we think it's great that someone out there is finally catering to that forgotten demographic: people who have extraordinarily large kneecaps. Or maybe these are for people who just want to LOOK like they have extraordinarily large kneecaps. We're not sure, and for $2,215, we're not going to be finding out anytime soon. If you'd like to slip into a pair of these, though, you can buy them here.
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… you know the jumpsuit is a crime of fashion.
And that's without even taking into account the droopy hips that seem to be a feature of so many jumpsuits at the moment. And for £729, too!
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