Today Stella McCartney has been found guilty of contravening The Fashion Police Law under point 6:1 -”Creation of Clothes-That-Are-Stuck-Together”. Stella tried to get this piece under our radar by describing it as a “jumpsuit”, but we weren’t fooled: it’s a tuxedo jacket attacked to a pair of pants, and that’s a sight we hoped we’d never have to see.

Evidence submitted in Ms McCartney’s trial included the oft-quoted, “If it can make even a mannequin look a bit ‘hippy’, it’ll do exactly the same for us humans, and is therefore a crime of fashion.” The Fashion Police hold this truth to be self-evidence: the jumpsuit is hereby remanded in custody. Bail is set at £945, payable to FarFetch.com.