It takes bravery to be a Fashion Police Officer. Not only do you face dangerous fashion criminals every day, sometimes you have to get up close and personal with them – to take one for the team, if you will – just like brave Officer Mousy did when she tried on those pink foil trousers for us in the name of "fashion".
Well, folks, today we take you once more to the front-line of fashion, investigating what items of clothing usually thought of as "crimes" look like in real life. The photos above were submitted by an Undercover Officer whose identity has been protected for her own safety. Here she is, entering the hostile territory of the Marks and Spencer changing rooms and trying on these cropped harem pants – so we don't have to.
Our intrepid officer says, "Admittedly I've chosen poses to show them off to their most gruesome potential, and they were never meant to go with those boots, but then they don't exactly look great on their web site either."
So, there you go, readers: harem pants do exist in real life, and we think our anonymous officer deserves the highest of commendations for her actions today: not many would be brave enough!
(Of course, if you'd like to go over the top, to the front line of fashion, be our guests – and look out for more posts on this subject coming up in the future!)
This dress is pretty from the front, but it's the back view that really seals the deal for us, with that cute little collar. We'd wear it to summer picnics and garden parties – or we would if we ever got invited to those kinds of things, obviously.
Well, would you look at that! Henry Holland (who totally looks like Beavis, apparently: funny how we never noticed that before!) has put a naked version of himself on a t-shirt, so that people can wear naked HH on their chests! Naked HH with a giant flower coming out of his… yeah.
And Agyness! Agyness Deyn! What short legs she has! And what manly shoulders! Want to wear her boobs on your boobs? House of Holland makes it all possible!
Isn't it amazing what £70 buys you these days? (You can also get Tom Ford and Luella. And yes, don't worry, they're naked too…)
Just after we posted about YSL's sequin jumpsuit, we spotted this picture of Emily Mortimer wearing the dress version to the Metropolitan Opera's 125th anniversary event last night.
It's certainly an improvement on the jumpsuit (mind you, we'd say almost anything is an improvement on a jumpsuit), but something about this just isn't doing it for us. We're not sure if it's the dark colours or the high neck, but it just seems too old for Emily here: what do you think?
This may prove controversial, but the Fashion Police would like to contend that NO item of clothing is worth £3,685 / $5,136.
OK, maybe a wedding dress. Or an item of clothing you could actually live in. Or that would clean your apartment, do your laundry and look after you in your old age.
Let's revise that statement slightly: no JUMPSUIT in the world is worth £3,685, and we don't care if every single one of those sequins was hand sewn by leprechauns. Solid gold leprechauns. Because, seriously, this isn't exactly the most versatile item of clothing in the world, is it? Or, indeed,the nicest.
What do you think , readers? Is there an item of clothing you'd pay that much for? Is this that item? If so, you can buy it at Browns. We think you already know the price…
We wonder if the models John Galliano uses in his shows have to sign some kind of disclaimer before hitting the runway. You know, something to the effect of "I promise not to sue you if I fall off the shoes and break my leg". Or maybe the shoes themselves come with a warning, like you get a Disney World: "You must be this tall to ride: pregnant women and those with a fear of heights are advised to avoid."
To this, we would also urge those with a fear of pom poms (What?! It's a real phobia, seriously!) to avoid these too. And those who ever have to, you know, walk…
One of the questions we're asked most often is "Is it OK to wear tights with opem-toed sandals?"
Well, according to Transparemze, the answer to that would be a definite "yes", because they've designed these Toe Footsies with the intention that people would do exactly that – wear them with strappy sandals. Yes.
As for The Fashion Police, we've always fallen firmly on the "no tights with strappy sandals" side of the line, and the image above has done nothing to change our minds on that issue. No siree.
What about you, though, readers? Is this a true case of "Sock Horror!" or would you wear 'em?
The Fashion Police love a sweetheart neckline on a dress. It has the knack of instantly adding a bit of "Jessica Rabbit" style appeal, and we think that's definitely the case with this tulip prom dress from Dorothy Perkins, which is an affordable £40.
We're keen on the magenta colour too, but if you're not, this is also available in a summery coral.
![Spl87219 023[1] Emily Mortimer wears YSL to the Metropolitan Operas 125th anniversary](http://www.thefashionpolice.net/images/6a00d8341c873353ef0112796e27ff28a4.jpg "Spl87219_023[1]")
