Proof that crochet can, indeed, be cute! Not that we ever doubted it, you understand, but seriously, if you’d seen some of the things in the “crochet” wing of the Fashion Police jail…
Truth be told, we’d probably like this Fornarina dress even more in some other fabric, but we’re suckers for navy/red/white combinations at the moment, and think this has a pretty little nautical look to it that’s just perfect for summer. If you think so too, it’s £85 from ASOS.
It’s that time of year again… Yes the Glam Network Awards are once more upon us, and if you’ve enjoyed reading The Fashion Police this year, all we ask is that you click here to vote for us in the “fashion” category!
Cute puppies/kittens/hyraxes for everyone who does!* (*Not really)
This Vivienne Westwood dress is actually a three-quarter length version of the full-length gown Carrie wore in the Sex and the City movie, but that hasn’t stopped people snapping it up : and nor has the fact that it costs £4,530,either! The dress went into Net-a-Porter’s ‘New In’ section yesterday, and by mid-morning it was already sold out, so unless they only had a couple in stock, we guess we might be seeing a few Carrie-esque brides this summer.
Sarah Jessica Parker is pictured in the original after the jump. What do you think, readers: is this the kind of thing you’d wear to your wedding?
No sooner had we stumbled upon these two-tone tights at the ASOS website earlier today, than our officers also spotted Pixie Geldof out and about in them in London. Clearly then, these tights are just begging to be written about, and so here they are! What does everyone think of them? We think it's an interesting idea, but we'd probably prefer a colour other than the nude/black versions, which seem to have the effect of bare legs with paint down the back of them. Your thoughts?
The tights themselves are £10 – you'll find a picture of Pixie wearing hers under the jump…
You know how we keep on thanking our lucky stars that harem pants don’t actually seem to making it into mainstream fashion, despite appearing in great numbers in every store in the land?
Looks like we spoke too soon, because here’s Jennifer Lopez, striding out proudly in her very own pair of drop-crotch pants.
The thing about this, though, is that although the crotch is close to her knees, which is an automatic Fashion Police penalty, the fact that she’s wearing these with tall boots almost makes it look like she’s just wearing a skirt. Now, we know the argument here would be, “Well, if she wants to look like she’s wearing a skirt, why doesn’t she just WEAR a skirt?” There’s no arguing with that, but still, we’re inclined to let J.Lo off the hook here: and those aren’t words we ever thought we’d hear ourselves say.
What do you think, Fashion Police jurors? Is Jennifer Lopez guilty or innocent of crimes of fashion?
[Thanks to Jen for the report!]
Such is the unfortunate prevalence of harem pants in our world today that we've been forced to give up pointing out individual atrocities and simply throw them all into the Harem Hall of Shame, instead. We did. however, think these ones by McQ were bad enough to warrant a post all to themselves:
So bad, it's like they bypassed "harem" territory altogether and just proceeded straight to "oh my God, I've just filled my diaper/nappy." In fact, we think Alexander McQueen may even be doing it deliberately, playing up the diaper qualities of the look, and creating a silhouette that's as ridiculous as anything we've seen:
These particular offenders are now safely confined in the Fashion Police jail (We didn't want them to be a bad influence on the other harem pants in the Hall of Shame, so we've thrown them straight into solitary). If you'd like to get them out, though, bail has been set at £150, and you can buy them here.
We wish that wasn't snake print in the paler sections of these shoes, but we're willing to live with it for the striking, geometric design and pale pink suede uppers. We're not sure we'd ever wear them, but we'd certainly enjoy looking at them. If you would, too, they're 1,050 euros (Ah.Yes. There is that…) and you can buy them here.
As you may well have guessed, The Fashion Police have been spending a lot of time thinking about swimwear recently. Well, it gives us something to do while the wind howls around the HQ and the rain pours down.
Last summer, the high-waisted bikini brief made a welcome return to the swimwear scene, and we're pleased to see there are still some around this year, too. As well as being a little less revealing, and therefore more comfortable, than some of their low-riding counterparts, these also have a nice "Bathing Belle" kind of feel to them, and being the unashamed retro lovers we are, that has a lot of appeal.
This navy polka dot bikini is by Fleur T, and is currently available at Topshop. The bad news, however, is that it doesn't come cheap: £60 for the bottoms and £70 for the top, although there are some other, slightly cheaper cuts available too.
Floral dresses are pretty ubiquitous once we enter the Spring/Summer season, and they're definitely not to everyone's taste. If you're a true girlie-girl, though, and love nothing better than a pink, floral dress, that maybe has a bit of tulle underneath to make it stick out that little bit more, here's Monsoon's 'Water Lily' dress, which we think is a great example of the floral genre. We love that wide, shoulder-exposing neckline, and, despite not being big fans of florals, we even like the print. It's £60 and you can buy it here.
When we featured Alexander McQueen's drape-front dress back in March of last year, we said it probably wouldn't be long until a high street version appeared on the scene. Well, we had to wait over a year, and Oasis's bubble hem belted dress isn't exactly the same as it, but it was close enough for our Fraud Squad to bring it to our attention, so it may well be close enough for McQueen fans to want to give it a try.
If you do, it's £50 from here, compared to the £1,062 the Alexander McQueen version originally cost.
Aaargh! Now, we know, we know: those white labels on the soles of shoes are pesky little buggers, and getting them off frequently has us cursing like sailors, not to mention breaking our nails in the process. (A little bit of hot water and a nail brush usually does the trick, we find, but we still wish shoe retailers would just stop sticking labels there in the first place.)
That, however, is no excuse for going out with the labels still proudly in place, as Diana Vickers and Jameela Jamil (don’t worry, you’re not supposed to have heard of them -they’re minor British “celebrities”) did to last week’s London premiere of ’17 Again’.
In these particular cases we accept that the shoes in question were probably borrowed, and that may explain the presence of the labels (although, that said, A-listers also borrow shoes for events, and you don’t see sticky labels on their soles, do you?), but this is a fashion crime we see ALL THE TIME in real life, with perfectly nice outfits totally cheapened by the presence of the White Label of Death.
Dont do it, folks. Remember: your soles don’t need to be red to look classy – they just have to be label free…
Jameela Jamil – nice dress, shame about the white labels on the shoes…
As far as we can tell, Fabiola Beracasa is a socialite noted for her "impeccable style".
She's also apparently been taking style types from Lady Gaga, because here she is at an event in New York last week, rocking the "look, I'm totally naked except for this blazer! Ha, no I'm not!" look.
When Gaga did this, we thought it was a one-off. We also thought it was more or less par for the course with the good Lady, so we weren't too concerned about the look catching on.
This second sighting, however, makes us worry that a "trend" may be emerging. Don't worry, folks, we're on it, if so…
The clocks move forward here in the UK this weekend (yes, we’re behind everyone else for some reason) which means The Fashion Police are in the mood for Spring. That’s possibly why we’re willing to forgive the neckline of this Catherine Malandrino dress fro looking a little bit too much like an actual flower, and just enjoy the sunny, Spring feeling it inspires in us instead.
If you’d like to enjoy it too, it’s £595 from Net-a-Porter.
For a long time now, one question has plagued and troubled us: what kind of uniform should we make the inmates of the Fashion Police jail wear?
At first we thought we'd keep it simple and make a combination of Crocs and harem pants our official uniform. Then we realised some of our prisoners would probably actually enjoy that, and the jail is supposed to be a place of punishment and correction, so we were thrilled to find that Stella McCartney has done the hard work for us, and designed an outfit that's just perfect for our purposes.
Yes, these Stella McCartney dungarees are the kind of outfit that will give no pleasure to anyone. A combination of your grandpa's old pyjamas and a boiler suit, they're functional-but-grim all the way, with the power to make even a model look completely shapeless. Exactly the kind of uniform our prisoners should wear, then, because surely these alone would deter people from committing fashion crimes in the first place?
We'd order in a job lot, but the problem is they're £380 each, which is a clear case of Daylight Robbery. Looks like we're going to have to arrest Stella McCartney instead…
What. The. HELL? Is that a… ? No, it can’t be. It just can’t. But it looks like…? No. We refuse to believe it. It’s just an unfortunate design, that’s all. A really, really unfortunate design. A really unfortunate design that’s just earned this dress its own special place in the Fashion Police Jail, where we hope it will take the time to think about what it’s done here.
Now, let us never speak of this again.
(Thanks to Louisa for the report!)
We can kinda see where Kathy Griffin was coming from with this outfit. Sure, it's just a little OTT to go shopping in, but then, sometimes we've been tempted to throw on a prom dress for a shopping trip too. Well, it's a shame to leave them all hanging in the closet day after day, isn't it?
So, although this particular dress is… not to our taste… we're reluctant to step in and arrest her for it. And hey, maybe the world would be a better place if everyone just got totally overdressed from time time to time? (Although maybe not in pink and blue frills) In fact, given that so many offices have "Casual Fridays", maybe it's time to start having Totally Overdressed Mondays or something, in an attempt to balance things out?
Or then again, maybe we should just arrest her and have done with it?
We've featured heart-shaped handbags here before, but what can we say: it would appear that we like them! And it would appear that we like them enough to make one of them our Handbag of the Week. Ah well, no point fighting it…
The bag in question is from River Island, and will cost you £21.99. Has it stolen your heart, though? (Sorry.)
As the tributes continue to pour in for Jade Goody, the Grumpy Old Bloggers wonder how sincere they all are?
Keeping It Realtor finds some houses that are strictly for the birds.
Dollface reviews The Body Shop’s new Tantalising Lip Butter.
And Forever Amber has a work-related announcement to make…
You're going to have to visit the Oasis website and use the "zoom" function there to get the full effect of this dress, which can only really be properly appreciated in close-up.
The "origami" neckline is the main selling point here, and the focal point of the dress, which is £75. The grey colour and classic shape means that it'll be suitable for work, etc, with the neckline helping to make it a little more interesting.
Get it here.