In defence of the items you see before you, we have to point out that they are not, in themselves, crimes of fashion. It’s just BY themselves that they become crimes of fashion – i.e. when there’s nothing underneath them but a fairly matronly looking bra. These tops presumably aren’t meant to be worn like that, though (are they?) which begs the question: why on earth would Next allow them to be photographed like that?
The top on the left looks like the kind of wardrobe malfunction you’d have if you didn’t realise quite how see-through your top was when you put it on, and then stepped into a brightly-lit room. The one on the right looks… well, the same, basically.
Just to add insult to injury, further investigation by The Fashion Police revealed that the blue top actually comes with a “detachable cami”. Which the stylist presumably… detached… for the purposes of this photo. WHY? Why would you do that to some poor model?
Oh God, it's way too early in the morning for this kind of thing, seriously. We haven't even had our coffee and doughnuts yet, and here we are with a suspected fashion criminal to process.
The problem is, we don't even know where to file this one. Is it a straightforward case of Daylight Robbery (well, it is £3,607. What recession?) or is it a more complex Crime of Fashion? What did the ostrich DO to deserve this? And where's Mousy when you need her, anyway?
We're just going to play it safe here and assume that this both daylight robbery AND a crime of fashion, but if you disagree, you can get your own ostrich at NET-A-PORTER .
Fancy some eye candy for a Tuesday afternoon? Your wish is our command! Here are some images from Chanel's S/S 09 Haute Couture show, to give you an idea of the kind of thing you won't be able to afford to wear, unless you actually are a celebrity (and a A-list one at that…). Enjoy!
Navy can sometimes be a bit of a dull choice for a party dress, but we think Monsoon have made it work here, adding bright purple stripes and a flattering shape to make a dress that’s cute without being OTT. There’s also a V-neck at the back, a bow to add a frivolous touch, and a net underskirt for swooshing around in, and it’s £60 from Monsoon.
The haute couture fashion shows got underway in Paris this week, and as exciting as that undoubtedly is, it's sometimes what the crowd wore that attracts our attention first. Here are Dita Von Teese and Mischa Barton, both attending the Dior show, but showcasing very different senses of style, with Dita her usual "dressed up to the nines" self, and Mischa … well, actually we're not completely sure what Mischa came dressed as, but it's a much more casual outfit than Dita's anyway, let's put it that way…
Which kind of style do you prefer, though: the comfy-and-casual or the never-knowingly-under-dressed?
For those times when you really want to be naked, but society requires you to wear clothes – although there's an argument that you may as well not bother if you're going to be wearing this. Not least because it's so short it would probably be more accurately be described as a "top". Or as a fashion crime.
The back view, as you can imagine, is almost as bad…
Ever had one of those days when you just can’t decide whether you want to keep it casual in a plain jersey tank, or dress it up in a slinky little black number? Well, worry not, for Alexander Wang has come rushing to your rescue with his satin and jersey combo dress, which is a hybrid of the two.
At first glance we weren’t sure whether the imbalance of this dress was kinda cool and quirky, or whether it made the model look a little bit like her dress is in the process of falling off. We’re still not sure, which is why we’re turning this decision over to you, our Fashion Police Jury. What do you feel for this dress? Love? Hate? Indifference? Do tell…
You know that scene in Gone With the Wind where Scarlett makes a dress out of a pair of old curtains? This is what would’ve happened if the book had been set in the 1970s and Scarlett ran out of material before she was done. Oh, Topshop, what were you thinking?
This little gem was reported to us by Fi, a.ka. the Shoegal, who was, in turn alerted by Julia over at Shiny Fashion Forums, so we’re reassured to know we’re not alone in our feelings about this item. What do you think, though?
![Spl76094 041[1] Chanel Haute Couture Spring/Summer 09](http://www.thefashionpolice.net/images/6a00d8341c873353ef010536fad5b7970c.jpg "Spl76094_041[1]")
![Spl75882 002[1] Mischa Barton and Dita Von Teese at the Dior Haute Couture show in Paris](http://www.thefashionpolice.net/images/6a00d8341c873353ef010536fa9ac9970c.jpg "Spl75882_002[1]")
