Crimes of Fashion, Dresses

The Emperor’s New Shress

Margiela_shress

One upon a time there lived an Empress. This Empress was very vain, and very stupid, and one day she decided that she wanted a new dress – the most beautiful dress in the whole world. And so the Empress called upon a tailor, who she commissioned to make the beautiful dress. The tailor was called Martin Margiela, and the tailor was cunning. He made the Empress an invisible dress, and when she couldn’t see it, he told her that why, only the most "fashion-forward" and "cutting edge" people could see the wonderful clothes he had made.

Clearly, The Empress didn’t want anyone to think she didn’t know her fashion, and so she slipped on the dress and went out to see her people. Who laughed until they cried at the sight of her bare ass shining in the sun. Suddenly the Empress realised how stupid she had been, because the tailor Margiela had made her, not a dress, but a "shress". And even although she had paid £224 for it, she would never be able to wear in in public again. Ever*.

The End

*Unless she wore some kind of slip underneath it, of course. Which we’d like to assume is how Martin Margiela intended this dress to be worn…

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