It’s no secret that we love us some eggs here at The Fashion Police. After a hard night patrolling the web for fashion crimes, there’s nothing better than a big ol’ pile of eggs, sunny side up and with the yolks just a little bit runny. And some toast soldiers. (Are we the only ones that calls them “toast soldiers”, by the way?) Yum.
Now, where were we? Oh yeah: this, unfortunately, isn’t a big plate of eggs. No, this is a scarf. That just so happens to look like eggs. It’s actually making us feel a little hungry, if we’re honest.
Is it making you want to buy it, though? Well, if it is, the bad news is that you’re going to have to knit it yourself, because this is just a pattern, not an actual scarf. The good news is that the pattern is only $5.99 and you can buy it from Boutique Kai.
Will you, though, or do you think food should be food and fashion should be fashion, and never the twain should meet? Tell is in the comments, while we go rustle up some eggs…
It doesn’t get much more "budget" than £3, so we hope you’ll forgive us for indulging the bow-love yet again, to bring you this bow detail belt from George at Asda, which retails for the aforementioned £3.
It’s not available to buy online, sadly, but if you can find it in store, it’ll be an easy (and cheap) way to revive any old outfit you care to wear it with. Plus, you can pick it up while you’re buying your groceries…
Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman – particularly those times when we’re forced to stick two large pieces of sticky tape to our boobs just to hold them up in a backless or low-cut dress…
Braza’s ‘Reveal’ bra does pretty much what it says on the tin – it "reveals" as much of your breast as is humanly possible, relying on double-sided tape to keep your clothes in place while it lifts and holds from above.
This isn’t recommended for anyone larger than a 38C, but if you’re smaller than that, you can pick one up at Amazon for $8. We’re sure this isn’t the case, but every time we look at it, we think of the painful sensation of ripping off a sticking plaster.
From the front, an unassuming white dress shirt. From the back, though… something else entirely. Yes, it’s what we tend to think of as the “mullet” style of dressing: business in front, party at the back, only in this case it was clearly some kind of “alternative” party, going by the shredded look of this shirt, which is £50 at ASOS.
What do we think of this then, readers? For us, it gets a thumbs-down: we’re not keen on surprises at the best of times, and when it comes to our clothes, we’d rather not be having the party in the back, thanks very much. We’re also not sure where we’d wear this: the back definitely wouldn’t be suitable for a day at the office (unless you work at a particularly easy-going office, of course), but the front seems just a little bit staid for anywhere you’d want to wear the back to. Of course, that whole contrast is presumably the selling point here, but does it sell it to you?
Oh how the other half live, eh? Can you imagine a situation in which you suddenly realise you can’t live without a pair of bright purple designer earmuffs – and are willing to pay £220 for them – readers? We can’t, but then again, we can’t imagine a situation (other than a life or death one) in which we’d suddenly find it acceptable to wear a dead bunny on our heads either, so perhaps we’re not best placed to judge on this one.
Seriously, though: £225 for a pair of purple earmuffs. Has the world gone mad? And can you imagine how the rabbit would have felt if it had only known it was dying for this?
For the second time this week, we find ourselves turning to Miss Selfridge in our hour of need, to soothe our sore eyes after all of the various fashion horrors we’ve inflicted on you (and ourselves) today.
This waterfall front dress is very “grown up” looking, and actually, the tailoring would make it perfect to wear with the trench coat and cloche hat we featured yesterday. At £45, it’s not the most expensive dress we’ve ever featured in this column, but we think it looks more expensive than it actually is, which is always a good thing.
Wear with stiletto heels and red lipstick for maximum impact.
This was going to be or ‘Wear or Die’ selection for you today. But as we looked at these two images, side by side in the depths of the Fashion Police cells, we realised that even although the rules of Wear or Die state that death is not an option, surely no one would want to live if it meant having to wear one of these “outfits”. So, instead, we’re posting them here purely as a reminder to us all – as if one is needed – that the whole “sheer” thing all the design houses have been trying to foist onto us lately? Really isn’t a good idea… and when it costs hundreds of pounds, like the shants above, it becomes positively criminal.
Folks, grab your coats – we’re taking you clubbing. Actually, on second thoughts, forget the coats – you see, this is clubbing Wear or Die style, and you wouldn’t want to hide the pretty clothes we’ve got picked out for you, would you?
This week we’ve gone searching through the clubwear section of our cells, and we’ve unearthed these two little beauties for you to try. You may be thinking the item on the left is a dress, but think again: this is actually a jumpsuit, although whether that makes it better or worse is up to you to decide. Decide you must, though, because it’s either wear this, wear the dress next to it – or die. So, what’s it going to be?
(If you’re new to Wear or Die, the rules of the game can be found here)
It’s no secret that we love us some eggs here at The Fashion Police. After a hard night patrolling the web for fashion crimes, there’s nothing better than a big ol’ pile of eggs, sunny side up and with the yolks just a little bit runny. And some toast soldiers. (Are we the only ones that calls them “toast soldiers”, by the way?) Yum.
Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman – particularly those times when we’re forced to stick two large pieces of sticky tape to our boobs just to hold them up in a backless or low-cut dress…
From the front, an unassuming white dress shirt. From the back, though… something else entirely. Yes, it’s what we tend to think of as the “mullet” style of dressing: business in front, party at the back, only in this case it was clearly some kind of “alternative” party, going by the shredded look of 
Oh how the other half live, eh? Can you imagine a situation in which you suddenly realise you can’t live without a pair of 
For 
