July 2nd, 2008
Wear or Die: The Bottom Half
Who wears short shorts? Why, you do, dear reader – but only if you pick the Burfitt High Gilla Check Shorts on the left of the above image as the item you’d wear in order to escape death today in this edition of Wear or Die: the game where everyone’s either fugly or dead. Should you pick the high waisted, tapered-leg, pleat-front pants on the right, however, you may not find yourself feeling much more comfortable, on account of how you’ll be wearing one of the most unflattering shapes ever to come out of the 80s.
Still, you know the rules: you must pick one item to wear, because trust us, or you must die. So, what’s your choice?
DEATH. seriously.
The shorts, under a long t-shirt
the trousers. Here is why – the sorts are way too short, and plaid. So trousers, for def – even if I end up looking like some 80s throwback….
Ew.. death or the shorts, if I absolutely have to.
The trousers, because I am far to well hipped and thighed to wear those shorts. I’d rather look like I’ve got a pregabelly than have everyone KNOW I’m thunder thighed.
OH MY! Has she soiled herself in those shorts on the left? That black ombre effect is in a rather unfortunate position. Surely death on both accounts.
the trousers definitely!!!!! I´d go with the “agyness” look hahaha
I might have to choose death. Those shorts aren’t just a fashion crime; they’re a crime against humanity! They look like someone tried to cover an adult diaper with plaid to cover up the fact that it was leaking – without much success. Maybe the pants. Maybe with an un-tucked shirt and then unbutton the ankle buttons and roll them up and pretend they’re cropped? Nah. Death it is.
Pants. They certainly are unflattering, but not nearly as bad as the shorts. Peachfish’s description of the shorts works perfectly.
I never knew the fashion police had such hatred in their hearts.
To force us to wear either of these garments is simply cruel.
I’m afraid I must die.
For were I to be seen in either of those, darkness would cover the Earth and civilization would descend into chaos.
Therefore it is my duty as a fashion superhero to sacrifice my life in the name of style.
The shorts. I mean they’re ugly, but at least they’re both high-waisted and tartan which are sure winners in my world.
The shorts. Could I wear a longer top to cover the waist? With 5 inch stilettos, hopefully at least the male population would stare at my legs and not see this hideousness.
Death. But wait, maybe….. Nope, death. Definitely.
Who wears short shorts?
Well, I do. With a long tee and a waistcoat. Oh, yeah, baby. I will then feel like I have died.
Death. There’s no other option.
The shorts. I’m still in my teens, so people will just (hopefully) think I’m “trying to find my own style”. And plus I just can’t stand the colour on the damn trousers.
The shorts (pulled down as far as possible) (maybe with tights or hose underneath? worn with a black tank and corset waist belt and black peep toe heels & red clutch