Janet Jackson in The Mysterious Case of the Missing Feet

Would someone care to remind us just when (or why, for that matter) it was that feet went out of fashion? We’ve spotted both Kim Kardashian and Katie Holmes working the "Look! No feet!" look recently, and quite frankly, we’re perplexed. Why are so many stars so keen to present the illusion that they’re standing in quicksand at all times? Are feet so taboo now that we have to cover them up with extra long trousers? What about the SHOES? And also: can you even imagine how filthy the hems of your white pant suit would get from being dragged along the floor all day?

Wait: did we just say, "White pant suit?"?!