Gwyneth? Wow, it’s a good job we bumped into you like this before anyone else sees you, because, sweetie, we hate to tell you, but your dress is totally unraveling! Look, it’s fallen all the way down your leg! Actually, come to think of it: are you sure this is your dress, Gwynnie? Only, it looks a couple of sizes too big for you. And the shoes? We’re just not feeling the shoes.

Wait, what’s that? It’s all supposed to look like this? Oh. Oh Lord, this is embarrassing. Um, did we mention recently how much we love your new hairdo? Love it. Well, gotta rush, Gwyneth. Remember: love the hair!